I starred on Britain’s Got Talent – now I make £200 a pop giving strangers a massage with my 12ft albino PYTHON
I TRY not to wince as Boudica, the 12ft albino python slowly wraps round my neck, and attempt to remember why I’m doing this.
I’m at Snakey Sue’s Live Snake Encounters and Sanctuary in Harwich, Essex, and for her, this is just a normal Thursday.
A wellness chokehold has taken the world by storm, but there is one therapeutic practice that has taken the phrase quite literally – Snake Massage.
Two words you wouldn’t necessarily put together might be the one thing that can help you unwind.
Snake Massage involves sitting or lying down as live snakes are placed on your back and can cost up to £200 if you choose the biggest one, Boudica.
Reptile fanatic and former belly-dancer Sue has adopted rescue snakes since 1992, and is convinced of their benefits.
She said: “It’s like a meditation.
“If you’re meditating you’re supposed not to think of anything else.
“Just your breath, you’re thinking just the breathing and it’s the same thing here.”
She offers educational talks, sanctuary visits – and sometimes, for those who don’t get easily rattled, a massage.
The first step was picking out the snake.
Snakey Sue’s Live Snake Encounters and Sanctuary is home to 19 rescued serpents, including two python sisters, Lesley the corn snake, and Dobby the boa constrictor.
Sue affectionately talked me through how she came to adopt each one, and how each rescue became part of the family.
After some mental deliberation about how brave I was feeling we chose the biggest.
Boudica the 12ft python can’t be released in the wild due to albinism and apparently was more friendly than her twin sister.
It took six hands to transport her, with 76-year-old Sue, photographer Andy, and I eventually managing eventually move her out of her enclosure.
No amount of lugging weights around a dingy gym could have prepared me for how difficult it was to hold up a python.
In fact the 76-year-old snake-charmer admitted that one day soon she might have to give up her rescues for the sole reason that they’re too heavy for her.
She said Lesley the Corn Snake would be fine, but it gets difficult transporting her two python sisters, and Dobby the 34-year-old boa constrictor.
We eventually made it upstairs and Sue gently guided the 18kg creature over my left shoulder for my first snake massage.
I braced myself and told myself to breathe.
Was I really about to put my neck on the line for a story – I guess so.
I pulled down my sleeves so Boudica couldn’t feel my fear in the form of goosebumps as she slowly moved around the nape of my neck.
Sue assured me the best place for them to be is where your collar sits, so they can tackle your vagus nerve.
WHO IS SNAKEY SUE?
With a background in professional belly dancing, Sue has been handling reptiles since 1992 and believes they’re perfect to hit all the right pressure points.
She said: “When I began rescuing them I was thinking of ways of making some finance to keep them all and I started doing parties and I found them therapeutic myself.
“But then, I might be strange.
“As I began to do all these different events and putting snakes on people I’d be I began to realise that they were finding them therapeutic too.
“Although you can’t tell people beforehand because they won’t believe you.”
Sue’s sanctuary in Harwich, Essex, is currently home to 19 snakes – one of them being 12ft-long Boudica, the albino Burmese python who weighs just over 18 kilos.
She said she’s spent over £135,000 throughout her lifetime on her collection of serpents.
Letting a limbless predator coil around you like a scarf is the name of relaxation felt counter-productive, but I wanted to give it a try.
My heart rate was up, I was certainly present, and my meandering massage partner felt like a thousand hands were pressing into my spine.
The mental challenge of facing something typically “scary” with the physical experience of forcing your body to relax, creates a unique feeling.
“They used to say if you hold a snake you can do anything but I still can’t play the keyboard,” joked Sue.
I glanced to my left to see the pale white python flash a forked tongue by my ear and wondered if I’d get a hiss or a kiss.
As she twisted around my arm, spanning far further the length of my body, I noticed her smooth scales weren’t slimy or slippy, but cool and dry.
The warm kneading associated with massage was cold and pressing and reminded me more of a weighted anti-anxiety blanket.
I tried to relax into it and Boudica seemed unbothered – she seemed more keen to go and get a cuddle from her Sue, who was wearing one of her glamorous dancing outfits.
Snakey Sue said she doesn’t tend to time massages and she’ll finish when she thinks is appropriate, or if the snakes get bored and slither off.
When Boudica realised she was more interested in the table leg we decided to end our session.
As my first serpentine encounter came to an end, I was intrigued by the novel experience and surprisingly wasn’t relieved to see Boudica go.
Did I feel relaxed? Sort of.
To me, it was more of a fun experience than a calming one, but that in itself can have its benefits too.
Despite probably not being my “go-to” method of chilling out after work, I’m glad I gave it a try.
It was interesting stepping out of my comfort zone – I don’t think I’ll be spotting snake therapy on my local leisure centre timetable any time soon.
Sue is for the most part retired from belly dance and snake massage, but she still offers a range of snake-related activities.
To fund her rehomed reptiles she offers a family tour around the sanctuary for £50
She also offers workshops for those who are ophidiaphobic – scared of snakes.
If you’re frightened of snakes and need a bit of a spa day, Snake Massage might even kill two birds with one stone.
CAREER HISSTORY
Sue started out as a Go-go Dancer with a friend’s band, but when she was expected to go topless she opted out and re-trained as a belly dancer in 1974.
Going by the stage name Suzanne Patrice, she danced at parties, weddings, and other events wearing intricately designed home made costumes, as they could reach up to £400 store-bought.
She’s been spotted dancing with various A-listers including Michael Crawford, known for British sitcom Some Mothers Do ‘Ave’ Em and his performance The Phantom of the Opera.
In 1988, she made an appearance in series two episode three of TV crime thriller drama Floodtide starring Philip Sayer.
Four years later, her partner suggested they get a snake, Mamba, and she learned to incorporate the snake into her dance routine.
She then re-branded from Suzanne Patrice to Snakey Sue.
“He was gorgeous, Mamba.
“He used to whip his tail around my leg or around my arm and all over my body.
“It was just amazing, that was a big highlight of my life.”
Since then Sue’s been shimmying her way through the television like a whirlwind!
She’s spiced up Eastenders, Channel 4’s Red Velvet, and even slithered onto Sky Animal Planet’s Animal Crackers.
Channel 5’s The Wright Stuff, BBC’s The One Show, and Bang Goes The Theory, and even Britain’s Got Talent.
While Sue has somewhat retired from her snake massage and belly dancing days, the Sanctuary is still open for educational visits.
It costs £50 for up to 4 visitors 90mins and all proceeds go to her saved serpents.
She also has a donations page on her website.
As snakes shed continuously shed their skin, Sue also creates glass pendants holding real snakeskin which she sells at the local shop.