The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Recap: Delete the Deleteds

It’s been only a couple of weeks since we’ve seen our ladies, but it may as well have been years. When we last saw them, Lisa left her dinner in tears because the women aired their gripes about her together, and now it’s the morning after. I couldn’t have asked for more from the penultimate episode. I loved how much, like in the previous episode, everyone is playing to their strengths as characters and friends. With Britani’s totally insane recording in the Sprinter van, we see how these women can overcome their fractured relationships to unite against an outsider — which was something I have been missing all season. I love remembering why these women are bonded. Echoing what Heather said in the voice-over of this season’s premiere, there is a true bond they all have because of the crazy shit they’ve gone through together on this show. As much as they lose it on one another, they fundamentally have one another’s backs, and there are lines they do not cross.

There were a lot of ways the day after Bronwyn’s reveal that Todd had cheated on her, and the subsequent confrontation with Lisa at dinner, could have gone. What I like the most about these women and this show is they do not take time to think about how to approach a topic. We are blessed that Lisa’s need to bring up how Bronwyn threw Angie, Whitney, and Heather under the bus led to one of the best and funniest moments in this entire series: Britani recording the Sprinter-bus fight.

I need to take a moment to break down how deeply stupid Britani was with all of this. If you were to secretly record something, which we have done or had the urge to do, would you not hit record and cover your screen? Britani, you are in a small van with absolute psychopaths; why on earth would you be so obvious?

There are so many elements here that threw me for a loop. First of all, Angie explaining to Britani how to swipe (like she does on Tinder) made me laugh. The camera angles in the van are so cinematic to me — the angle of a screeching Meredith is nightmarish. The amount of concentrated yelling towards Britani is something out of my worst stress dreams. Imagine fucking up so badly that the group of women who were so close to ripping each other’s hair out then unite to put all their focus on you? I’d have jumped out of the van and flown back home instantly, but that is why nobody else is really like Britani.

I don’t understand how her story kept changing. First, she is taking a video for her daughter Olivia, who she just began speaking to again, because she got 100 percent on a math test. That is an incredible lie to tell, clearly coming from a place where Britani believes that would get her sympathy. Then she says she didn’t know how to take a video and was trying to flip it. And then it was only for a few seconds, not the full 24 seconds? What could have been going through her beautiful mind? Whitney nailed the biggest part of the betrayal perfectly when she says, “We don’t even do that when we’re hating each other!” Exactly! This is why these women can fight like dogs and then have fun — there are rules and standards they have, and you either get it or you are an outsider.

Funny enough, this is why Bronwyn’s move to talk to Lisa after their fight the previous night made her seem like a weak link to everyone, including Lisa. Bronwyn told her the other ladies were talking an extra amount of shit to her with the assumption that it would smooth things over with Lisa and get her back in her good graces. Someone like Heather can do that and mostly get away with it, because there’s enough of a groundwork of friendship for them to get over her character flaw. But these other women have already had their suspicions about Bronwyn’s flip-flopping loyalties, and unfortunately for Bronwyn, this validated a ton of Heather’s suspicions. Because Britani is not taken seriously as a person, her amateur move is forgiven later on. Britani’s a self-centered weirdo who lacks strategy when trying to get attention or create drama, so her actions never get her anywhere. It’s what makes Britani an amazing character and lets everyone unite against her idiocy.

By the time they reach their ATV destination, I feel bad for Britani. I’m glad Angie is able to express that it was a bit wild for Britani to get that much heat in such a small space. Whitney is an angel to try and rationalize with Britani and explain to her why her actions were insane. You can see in her eyes as she speaks to Britani that she is not dealing with Monica Garcia, and really, all the women eventually come to the same conclusion.

Watching other OG franchises, like early RHONY, for example, what makes these shows propulsive is how easily these women can forgo drama to have a good time. Yeah, it is weird that Britani is acting like nothing happened at the waterfall, but even Lisa is tickled by her behavior and has to admit, despite her anger, that Britani’s body was tea, which made me laugh out loud.

Throughout this season, fans were swift to turn on Heather for being annoying and useless this season, riding too high on the Reality Von Tease hog. But these last few episodes proved the Heather haters wrong. She is fundamental to this show’s fabric, and I think being the most therapized of all these women works to her strengths. No one else would have been able to smooth things over the way Heather did during that lunch, and it was her responsibility to do so because she brought Britani into this group.

I initially didn’t understand why Britani believed bringing up her physical relationship with Jared would explain her behavior, and I still don’t fully buy it. Yeah, I get she is Mormon and still more deeply entrenched in the community than anyone currently on the show. But girl, you are a grown woman, and it’s not like you’re secretive of all your sins. You’re out here openly drinking, partying, and dating ON CAMERA! However, Heather’s greater context of how the fear of shame from the community can mess with anyone’s psyche does make sense. Honestly, I think these women mostly know Britani isn’t smart or really power-hungry enough to do real damage. Again, all Britani wants is to be seen and heard, no matter the cost.

Of course, Meredith can’t let any of this go or fully grasp Britani’s limitations. Would Britani put a recording device in Meredith’s room? Absolutely not. Mostly because that does not benefit her in any way, and if she did, they would not be hidden. The most likely scenario is that Britani listened to Meredith at the door of her room.

This day-three dinner shows once again how Bronwyn is in over her head. It’s transparent to everyone why she ran to Lisa, and Bronwyn can’t even understand her own motivations. She refuses to see why her actions were shady at all. Again, Heather, Angie, and Whitney were supporting Bronwyn after she revealed her husband had an affair and had her closest friend in a group lowkey take his side. Browyn should know better than to repeat that conversation at all, let alone the very same night! It seems like such an obviously bad move. I was a bit surprised someone like Bronwyn miscalculated how everyone else would take that. It demonstrates how desperately Bronwyn wants to fix her friendship with Lisa and how she doesn’t have the tools to do it.

Next week, we get our finale and the “eight Lisas” lunch I have been waiting for all season. But what I am most scared of seeing, based on our preview, is Angie and Mary fighting at dinner. No! These two have been my rocks all season; I went from being shocked by their friendship to understanding it completely. I don’t want to see those girls fight! I don’t think we will see any true resolution between Lisa vs. Everyone else in the finale, but that is what the reunion will be all about.

Snowflakes

• I am so happy Robert Jr. is in rehab, but I wonder when the other women outside of Angie will know what is happening. That may be what the Angie and Mary tears are about at dinner.

• I think it’s becoming clearer that Meredith specifically received psychic damage from Reality Von Tease that she will never recover from. No wonder she is paranoid.

• I’m glad this trip no longer feels like a Vida Tequila brand-ambassador excursion. That was annoying.

• Whitney was wearing the Ali Baba necklace in this episode. Good for her.