We went celibate for 5 years for a better marriage – we had a unique coping method to keep our hands off each other
CUDDLING up on the sofa and feeling frisky, Sarah Daniels wants nothing more than to move things upstairs to the bedroom.
But rather than making a move on her partner Bart Langmans, 54, the 52 year old turns on the TV and searches for a film in a bid to distract herself from her desires.
It’s a routine the couple had become accustomed to – watching a movie every night to keep their hands off each other.
For five years sex was off limits, despite neither of them being virgins when they met in 2019.
Their decision was part of a pact to abstain from sex until marriage – to make it ‘more special.’
Sarah says: “I had sex before with a previous partner but it wasn’t great for me.
“I didn’t really enjoy it.
“That’s why it was so important for me wait and to find someone special.
“I really have found someone and it’s perfect.”
Sarah and Bart met on a dating app called Afrointroductions and struck up a relationship – despite Sarah being in London, and Bart 232 miles away in Antwerp, Belgium.
They continued dating long distance – visiting each other several times a year – and Sarah eventually moved to Belgium to live with Bart in 2020.
But the pair still didn’t have sex, despite sharing a bed although they admit it wasn’t always easy.
Sarah says: Obviously we are humans and get those hormones.
“But Bart because he never pushed me.
“We had this decision together and nothing would change that.
“We were both strong and it was worth the wait.”
The couple found many ways to “keep busy” that didn’t involve being intimate including walks in the park, cooking together, and watching a film “without fail” every night.
Sarah, a life coach and inspirational speaker, originally from the Dominican Republic, now living Antwerp, Belgium, says: “Sex is sacred.
“The minute you give that part of you away, it’s giving the most intimate thing of you.
“By waiting, it made it extra special.
“I waited and got the compensation.
“It feels so new again even though we’ve lived together for years.
“By the time we had sex, we were already satisfied with each other on so many other levels.
“It’s the best thing ever when you get to that place.”
Sarah, who was living in London, came across Bart’s profile on a dating site in December 2018.
Married previously, with two children aged 30 and 29, Sarah had been single for almost eight years, and Bart for two.
Bart, a film editor, was based in Belgium, and they started exchanging messages on WhatsApp in January 2019.
They visited each other several times that year, but their visits were halted when covid shut down air travel in March 2020.
Every night at 9pm we watched a film – no matter what. It kept us on track
Sarah Daniels
But Sarah made it clear from the start that sex was off limits.
Sarah says: “On every date, I would say ‘this is it, go for food and nothing else’.
“Bart was like me and had only e
“Bart never asked me for anything – he was happy to wait too.”
The couple moved in together in June 2020 and while living together, the pair continued to remain celibate.
They would fill their evenings with other ‘activities’ to keep themselves occupied.
The pair went on “long walks” around local Belgium parks and visit the private saunas twice a month as a “special outing” but they kept their hands off each other.
Sarah says: “The walks would connect us to nature and help keep us grounded.
“Every night at 9pm we watched a film – no matter what. It kept us on track.
“One thing we learned was sex is only one part of a relationship.”
Sarah and Bart had considered getting married sooner, a year or two into their relationship, but held out for their families.
She said: “Bart’s mum, who passed away last year, was very traditional and suggested waiting.
“I was raised Christian and Bart is a non-practicising Catholic so we understand sex is sacred.
“We were happy to wait and compromise.
“It helped us grow our connection.
“After five years, we finally felt like it was time.”
Celebs that waited until marriage to have sex
Celebrities tend to keep the details of their sex life private, but when it comes to their choice to wait until marriage, some stars are actually willing to open up.
Jessica Simpson – Before marrying Nick Lachey, Jessica was very open about her decision to remain a virgin. She said she was nervous about discussing the topic with Nick for the first time, but he “stayed patient” until they tied the knot in 2002.
Justin and Hailey Bieber – Justin may have been with other people before his wife Hailey, but when they reconnected in 2019, he was more than a year into a self-imposed tenure of celibacy. Together, the couple decided to continue to refrain from having sex until they were married.
Adriana Lima – Victoria’s Secret model Adriana’s Catholic faith influenced her decision to save herself for marriage. She explained potential suitors would have to respect her decision — and if they weren’t willing to wait, then they weren’t the right person for her.
Miranda Kerr and Evan Spiegel – When Miranda started dating Snapchat founder Evan, the couple decided to wait until marriage to have sex because of Evan’s traditional beliefs. In an interview, Miranda was asked about the possibility of having children before their wedding and she said it wouldn’t be possible: “Not until after we get married. My partner is very traditional. We can’t…I mean we’re just…waiting,” she told The Times.
Kevin Jonas – All the Jonas brothers famously wore purity rings for much of their adolescence, in part due to their religious upbringing. While Nick and Joe ended up taking their rings off, Kevin saw things through until he tied the knot with his wife Danielle in 2009.
The pair booked an intimate ceremony with two witnesses, at a local civil office in Belgium, on February 3, 2024.
They chose a date close to Valentine’s Day to make it even more “special” and booked a local apartment near the beach for their honeymoon.
The pair even “prepared” for their big day, by drinking a homemade aphrodisiac juice containing ginger, beetroot, and apples.
Sarah adds: “We drove directly to our apartment after the civil office.
“It was really romantic. When you wait so long, you sort of feel like a virgin again.
“The wait was worth it.”
When I came to the UK ready for a great weekend I even had my condoms with me
Bart Langmans
Now the couple are intimate between three and four times a week in a bid to make up for lost time.
“Now we’re married, we are intimate regularly and it happens spontaneously,” says Sarah.
“It’s like we’re on honeymoon again.
“It worth waiting for that feeling.
“It feel most special because it’s the right person and the right place.”
Bart adds: “Being celibate for me was a first experience.
“When I came to the UK ready for a great weekend I even had my condoms with me. However, when we began to talk I eased back.
“The way she explained celibacy to me was magical and I then wanted to wait not only for her, but also for me.
“I was very happy to wait but I got so much into our normal relationship that I forgot we were not having any sex.
“I describe our first night as magical. There isn’t a word in the dictionary that can explain the mix of feelings.
“It was more than worth it.”