Harriette Cole: Do I need to pretend like my mom isn’t alive?
DEAR HARRIETTE: I sometimes feel guilty because I still have my mom, while many of my friends have lost both of their parents.
I sometimes feel like I shouldn’t mention her when I am talking to friends who don’t have parents, but that feels awkward too.
How can I be sensitive to their loss and honor the fact that I still have my mom?
— Want To Be Sensitive
DEAR WANT TO BE SENSITIVE: Take your lead from your friends. Let them introduce what they want to discuss when you chat.
When you have special news, such as a big birthday or some other remarkable experience about your mom, do share that with joy. Chances are, even if it pains them a bit to be missing their parents, they will feel happiness for your mom and for you.
Make sure your stories are succinct and thoughtful without bragging. If your friends know your mother, they probably do feel that it is a blessing that she is living and are happy to hear good news about her — just not too often.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of those people who tries to make a New Year’s resolution just about every year. As you might imagine, it doesn’t usually work. I stay focused for a week or so, but something always distracts me.
This year I want to be better. I really need to lose weight. It’s serious — for my health.
My doctor told me I had to do it, but I have tried losing weight in the past, and it always comes back.
How can I approach weight loss differently so that I’m not set up for failure?
— Weight Loss
DEAR WEIGHT LOSS: Start by visiting a nutritionist to figure out the best eating plan for your body and your overall health.
What you put into your body is how you start. Pay attention to what you want versus what the professional recommends. Do your best to eat only from the recommended list. That alone can make a huge difference. Avoid late-night snacking. Remove unhealthy snacks from your home. That way, you can’t fall into temptation. You can’t eat it if it isn’t there!
Next, create some kind of movement plan. Dr. Ian Smith of “The Doctors” told me he recommends that we all consciously add 30 minutes of movement each day. This ensures that no matter what else we do in a day, we have committed to getting our blood flowing for 30 minutes in a row.
Believe it or not, many people do not do that. Too many of us are glued to our screens. For your health, you must get up.
Finally, promise yourself that you are worth it. Be gentle with yourself and also committed. Remind yourself each day that you are precious and deserve the best. Then give it to yourself.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.