Weak: This Serial Killer Used A Gun
If you’re an aficionado of gruesome true crime stories, this is just about the most disappointing thing you’ll hear all day: This serial killer used a gun.
Booooooo! Weak! What a lame way to kill people!
A recent Netflix documentary about the Zodiac killer makes a case that the Zodiac was one of the sickest, most terrifying serial killers in history, with one glaring exception: His preferred method of killing his victims was just to walk up to them and shoot them with a gun. Everything else about the Zodiac, from the mysterious ciphers sent to the press, to the black hood he wore, to his belief that by killing his victims he was he was collecting slaves for the afterlife, to the fact he was never caught, is all grade-A serial killer fare. But then the guy had to go and ruin his legacy as the personification of pure evil by using a gun?! Out of all the possible weapons?
C’mon, man…
There’s a reason mass shooters are thought of as loser incels while serial killers are treated as fascinating evil geniuses, and it 100% boils down to weapon choice. Ever notice that no one writes bestselling crime novels about mass shooters? It’s because no one wants to hear about some Elmer Fudd waddling up and killing someone in the most generic, standard, boring way there is. A gun is literally the weapon your kindly 71-year-old uncle uses to hunt pheasants. It’s what the cops use. If a serial killer is going to go through the trouble of ruining countless lives for their own perverse pleasure, they can at least give the people what they want and use a hammer or a meat hook or something.
Hadn’t this guy ever seen a slasher movie? More like Zzzzzzzzodiac, if you ask us.
Look, we aren’t saying that the Zodiac doesn’t deserve a place on the serial killer Mount Rushmore alongside John Wayne Gacy (torture, bare hands), Jeffrey Dahmer (drugging, strangulation), and Ted Bundy (blunt objects). We’re just saying that his execution method was undeniably weak. Sorry, bud, but that’s the truth, and no amount of spooky cryptic letters is going to change it.