I had a 'nesting party' before my 2nd child. It was so much more helpful than a baby shower.
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- Amanda Driscoll, 26, is a mom of two living in Florida.
- She was inspired to prepare for her second child with a "nesting party" after seeing a TikTok about one.
- Family and friends helped with tasks like putting together a crib and making freezer meals.
This as-told-to essay is based on an interview with Amanda Driscoll. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I didn't originally plan to have a nesting party. I held a typical baby shower in June of last year with 30 of my family and friends. I have a huge family, and they're really fun to hang out with. Then, a month later, I saw a TikTok about a nesting party, where people help you clean your house and set up the nursery, and I was super inspired. By that point, I was already 38 weeks pregnant, and it had just dawned on me that I still had so much to do to prepare for the new baby.
I already had a toddler and was still working as a pet sitter for my mom's pet-sitting business at the time. I decided that having a nesting party would relieve me of organizing all those tasks I'd whirling around in my head.
When I gave birth to my first son in 2021, my sister-in-law, mom, and godmother helped me assemble furniture and fold the baby clothes, but it wasn't as involved as a nesting party.
I started by sending a group text to my closest friends to say, "Hey, I'm having a nesting party." I admit I was nervous to ask them to come and help me, but I needn't have worried. All my friends said yes.
I looked to TikTok for advice on throwing my nesting party
A nesting party feels so much more intimate than a baby shower. I invited five of my closest friends, my mom, and my godmother. At a baby shower, there are usually more people and activities. My nesting party was smaller, and I spent more one-on-one time with everyone.
I took tips from TikTok on what to do during my nesting party. I started by making a list of the tasks I needed help with in my notes app. The tasks were separated into rooms on the checklist, and I shared the list with my friends so they could choose which task they wanted to do before they arrived. It was a shared list, so they could check off tasks when they'd finished them to avoid miscommunication.
When my friends arrived at my house, we socialized first. My mom brought a rotisserie chicken and some sides for everyone to eat, and I bought wine and soft drinks. My husband Christian took our toddler to the park to keep him occupied for about 90 minutes, then when they got back, he started cooking meals we could put in the freezer. My friends also brought postpartum meals with them. One friend brought a stir-fry, another a lasagna, and one of my friends, who says she's not a cook, gave me a restaurant gift card, which was lovely.
My friends and family helped me get crucial tasks done before I had my baby
One friend washed and sterilized the baby bottles, another put up the crib, and another folded the baby clothes I received at the baby shower and put them in the drawers of the new changing table. They also placed a caddy in the nursery filled with wipes and diapers, snacks, and supplements. One task that was a huge help was when my friend got my car cleaned and then installed the infant car seat for me. As I live in Florida and had a summer pregnancy, I was dreading doing this in the heat.
While there were more people in the house than usual, it wasn't stressful at all, because I knew they were there to help me. My friends stayed until everything was done, for over three hours.
Though I had both, a nesting party would be a perfect substitute for a baby shower, if you have to choose one. I don't know what I would have done without all that help. From that moment until after I'd given birth, I was able to relax. Going into my postpartum period, I didn't have to worry as I knew that everything was clean, and I didn't have to worry about where things were as every item had been stored neatly and was within my reach.
Being pregnant can feel really isolating. I urge mothers to reach out to friends or family because they want to be a part of these important times. If you don't live close to your family or friends, I'd recommend contacting mom groups on Facebook to see if other moms would be willing to come to your nesting party. Community in parenting is important, and it's never too early to get started building one.