Let’s Predict Who Will Win The Traitors
One of the many delights of Peacock’s The Traitors is taking what we already know about the reality stars joining this season’s game and figuring out how that might inform their performance once Alan Cumming is staring at them over cold eggs and tossing their portraits in the fire. Then again, as we saw from season two’s all-reality-stars outing, the skills that make one good at Survivor or Real Housewives might not translate exactly to a game that is about arguing (great for Housewives) and voting people out (great for Survivors), yes, but also a whole that is greater than the sum of those parts. Also, as well as we know these TV personas, they also know each other, and reputations, past beefs, and loose alliances all come into play in a way that they don’t in the U.K.’s (brilliant) all-normie version of the format.
As fun as it is to make predictions, it’s also difficult to say how the combination of all these known (and a few unknown) quantities with vastly different skill sets will figure into the intoxicating alchemy of the game — favorites will flame out, dark horses will surge forward, and wild cards will be thrown into the mix. Maybe all of that uncertainty is why I proved to be absolutely terrible at this last season: While I had eventual co-winner Trishelle Cannatella near the top of the pile, I had her partner in crime Chris “CT” Tamburello almost at the bottom. But we’ve learned a lot of lessons since then, so here is another attempt to predict just who might survive Alan Cumming’s castle of terrors. And even if this preliminary power ranking is all wrong, consider this an introduction (or re-introduction) to the fame-chasers who are getting out their best tartan for our entertainment.
Dolores Catania
Where you might know them from: The Real Housewives of New Jersey’s resident peacemaker.
Relevant reality skills: If Dolores ends up a Traitor, she’ll be the one to beat. Her entire tenure on RHONJ has centered on a neverending feud between two factions, and Dolores is the only person who’s been able to navigate both sides. She’s empathetic, funny, and more loyal than she probably should be, but she will absolutely decimate someone who gets on her bad side. If she can maneuver between Team Teresa and Team Melissa, then she can definitely play double agent between the Faithful and the Traitors all the way to the final fire pit.
Will be best as: Traitor
Chrishell Strause
Where you might know them from: Her famous husband dumped her out of the blue on season one of Selling Sunset, and she’s been carrying the show on her back ever since.
Relevant reality skills: Selling Sunset is much more, shall we say, “produced” than a lot of other reality shows, so it’s hard to judge how she’ll come across on a series that’s made differently. But she’s smart, likable, and acts dumber than she likely is, which can be a boon for the ardent Traitor hunter. Look for her to assemble a group of ladies who are Faithful to the end.
Will be best as: Faithful
Wells Adams
Where you might know them from: A former Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise contestant who went on to become the bartender on the latter show. He’s also married to Sarah Hyland from Modern Family.
Relevant reality skills: Fans think of him as sweet and caring, and as the bartender on BIP he’s known for giving good, heartfelt advice. This is the kind of guy who can get a band of Faithfuls to believe that he’s the real deal and protect him until the end — if the Traitors can’t get him to flip, that is.
Will be best as: Faithful
Carolyn Wiger
Where you might know them from: A wacky fan favorite who came in third on Survivor 44.
Relevant reality skills: Carolyn played with her heart, was constantly underestimated, and forged tight bonds with two of her tribemates that took the trio from the bottom at the merge to the finale. She wears her emotions on her sleeve and knows a thing or two about rooting out deception, and while I don’t think she has it in her to lie for the entirety of the game, people will buy her as a die-hard Faithful.
Will be best as: Faithful
Tom Sandoval
Where you might know them from: The worm with a mustache who kicked off the whole “Scandoval” on Vanderpump Rules.
Relevant reality skills: This man is a professional of the reality television arts and sciences, but nearly everyone in the castle will know him as the guy who cheated on his girlfriend with her best friend and covered it up for months. Everyone probably thinks they have his number going in, but I have a feeling he may be canny enough to pull off a double blind — his line should be, “They would be stupid to make me a Traitor when you all believe I’m this crazy liar anyway.” He could also prove so narcissistic and annoying (as Katie Maloney will tell you he always is) that he’ll fail upwards, driving away allies and leaving bigger targets to be dealt with before him. This game has the potential to turn all his weaknesses into strengths, which, strangely, makes him one to watch.
Will be best as: Traitor
Gabby Windey
Where you might know them from: A former contestant on The Bachelor, co-Bachelorette with Rachel Recchia, and runner-up on Dancing With the Stars.
Relevant reality skills: It seems like she’s a constant also-ran, coming in second on both The Bachelor and Dancing With the Stars, but while she left The Bachelorette engaged to a gentleman from the show, she came out shortly thereafter and has been dating women ever since. It seems like there is more to Gabby than meets the eye, which would make her a top-notch Traitor.
Will be best as: Traitor
Jeremy Collins
Where you might know them from: The winner of Survivor: Cambodia who came back to play twice, including alongside Tony Vlachos and Rob Mariano in Winners at War.
Relevant reality skills: This is a man who duked it out in a challenge against his own wife and showed her no mercy, essentially kicking her out of the game. He’s always been a great physical player adept at finding hidden immunity idols, but those skills will only get him so far in Scotland. More helpful will be the fact that he has always been loyal and a guy’s-guy, which could help build alliances, although he and Tony Vlachos still have beef after Jeremy thought Tony betrayed him on Winners at War.
Will be best as: Faithful
Britney Haynes
Where you might know them from: The comic relief from Big Brother seasons 12 and 14, competing alongside former BB and Traitors contestant Janelle Pierzina on The Amazing Race, and a fateful stint on Big Brother: Reindeer Games.
Relevant reality skills: The Arkansas mom used her down-home charm and impeccable comic timing to win over everyone in the house and fans at home. Her best performance was on BB12, when she cozied up to four guys who were in a secret alliance, got them to the final five, and then they unceremoniously cut her. Hopefully this time she keeps that from happening by being a Traitor, because no one would suspect her. However, her friend-turned-enemy from Reindeer Games, Danielle Reyes, is also in the castle, and as we saw in the first seven minutes of the premiere that Peacock released on New Year’s Day, both of them have the opportunity to kick the other out of the game before it even starts. Britney doubling down on betraying Danielle seems unlikely given her apparent guilt over what went down on Reindeer Games, but it would be a great way to kick off her Traitor era. If she manages to stick around past the premiere, she’ll be amazing — look for her to be the Phaedra Parks of the season.
Will be best as: Traitor
Danielle Reyes
Where you might know them from: The runner-up of Big Brother 3 and additional appearances on Big Brother 7 and last winter’s Big Brother: Reindeer Games.
Relevant reality skills: Known as a great strategist and considered one of the best players to never win Big Brother, she lost her initial season because the jury didn’t like how cutting she was in her confessional interviews, which won’t be an issue in this format (and will be fun to watch). The bigger potential issue she faces is that the only other Big Brother contestant in the castle is Britney Haynes, who unceremoniously ousted Danielle, her supposed ride or die, from Reindeer Games. Considering Britney is always super likable, the two of them being at odds could hinder Danielle’s game — that is, if Danielle doesn’t take the early opportunity to get Britney back and out of the game for good. If that happens, booting her only potential ally will be tough to come back from whether she’s a Traitor or a Faithful, so look for her to try and fly under the radar for a bit.
Will be best as: Faithful
Robyn Dixon
Where you might know them from: One of the OG Real Housewives of Potomac.
Relevant reality skills: Everyone, meet this year’s Shereé Whitfield. Remember how Shereé got pretty far in the game by cozying up to her Bravo brethren, not having a clue what was going on, and making the wildest votes at every roundtable? Expect much of the same from Robyn, who was always better off with her bestie, Gizelle Bryant, than she was on her own. If she fell for some of the lines her husband fed her, she’ll fall for anything. This ranking isn’t to say Robyn is going to be good at the game, just that she’s basically invulnerable to murder.
Will be best as: Faithful
Nikki Garcia
Where you might know them from: A former pro wrestler who performed as Nikki Bella, she was on the WWE shows Total Divas and her spinoff with her twin sister, Total Bellas.
Relevant reality skills: Admittedly, I don’t know much about professional wrestling or its reality-TV offshoots, but anyone who can take a physical beating while not letting anyone see their true emotions would be an excellent Traitor. My guess is she could end up one of the only ladies in a dude-heavy alliance, like last year’s co-winner Trishelle Canatella.
Will be best as: Traitor
Bob the Drag Queen
Where you might know them from: The winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race season eight and three seasons of Max’s We’re Here. And let’s not forget his hit dance single, “Purse First.”
Relevant reality skills: The first thing to know about Bob is he is funny as shit, and I can’t imagine that being anything but an asset in the castle. He’ll be sure to foster friendships wherever he goes, but anyone who has spent as much time with Eureka O’Hara as Bob has will surely know how to read a bitch to filth and stand up for himself. Unlike his pal Peppermint, he should be able to get past the first elimination.
Will be best as: Faithful
Dorinda Medley
Where you might know them from: The Lady of Blue Stone Manor is a catchphrase machine on Real Housewives of New York City and Ultimate Girls Trip.
Relevant reality skills: Dorinda is known for two things that are usually connected, getting drunk and being angry — if you hear, “She’s startin’,” run! However, when she hasn’t started yet she’s sharp, an excellent arguer, and loyal to whoever is on her side. Everyone should be a little bit scared of her, which could keep her around for a while, unless the Traitors are afraid of her and then her number might be up. But she’s a great friend and ally (she still hasn’t turned on Ramona Singer!), so as long as she can gather a coalition and keep her anger in check, she could coast far.
Will be best as: Faithful
Bob Harper
Where you might know them from: The (nice) trainer and eventual host of The Biggest Loser.
Relevant reality skills: Bob was always ready with a compassionate ear and a pep talk for the contestants he was trying to get to the final weigh-in. Maybe what the castle really needs is someone who is going to give everyone some gentle motivation to find those Traitors? But since he’s never competed himself, it’s hard to guess exactly how Bob will fit into the cast dynamics.
Will be best as: Faithful
Chanel Ayan
Where you might know them from: Wearing ridiculous outfits on the recently “paused” Real Housewives of Dubai.
Relevant reality skills: If you’re looking for someone who will serve lewks to rival Alan Cumming’s, Chanel doesn’t wear anything less than a gown even for mundane activities like going to get her dry cleaning. Her couture dedication should be fun to watch, but those in the castle might be turned off by her hot temper, argumentative nature, and insistence that she’s always right. But if she can stick closely to the Bravo girlies, who definitely like her, she could last for a bit.
Will be best as: Faithful
Lord Ivar Mountbatten
Where you might know them from: Um, nowhere. He’s a British aristocrat and King Charles III’s second cousin.
Relevant reality skills: Um, none. However, he is the first member of the royal family to come out as gay, and he did it in such a way that his ex-wife walked him down the aisle when he married his new husband. If he can pull off that move, he can definitely persuade some people to vote his way, which might make him an early target for the Traitors.
Will be best as: Faithful
Ciara Miller
Where you might know them from: A stunner from Bravo’s kids-partying-in-the-Hamptons yarn Summer House.
Relevant reality skills: Surviving for a period of time in a giant house where everyone is coming after your spot — yeah, that could be Traitors or Summer House. However, Ciara has always been a bit of a slow burn, more on the quiet side and reticent to open up to new people. While that worked in the Hamptons, it might be a detriment in Scotland if people think she’s acting like she has something to hide. Also, if she’s as bad at picking Traitors as she is at picking romantic partners, she’s absolutely doomed.
Will be best as: Faithful
Dylan Efron
Where you might know them from: Gestating in the same uterus as Zac Efron and showing off his abs on Instagram.
Relevant reality skills: Um, none. No one really knows anything about this celebrity sib, which could go one of two ways: Either they all decide to go after other players who they deem threats and he skates by, or they all gang up on him to get rid of a wild card.
Will be best as: A contestant on Claim to Fame.
Sam Asghari
Where you might know them from: The recently divorced ex of Britney Spears and this not-especially-flattering New York Times profile.
Relevant reality skills: He’s had a handful of cameos in various movies and TV shows (including as a Sexy Santa on Hacks), but somehow I feel like we know even less about him than we do the Efron brother. A true wild card, his first impressions on everyone at the castle are really going to determine his game.
Will be best as: Faithful
Tony Vlachos
Where you might know them from: Played Survivor three times and won twice, including the all-winners 40th season. Take that, Boston Rob.
Relevant reality skills: A police officer and a loose cannon, Tony’s superpower has always been reading people, knowing when they’re coming after him, and spying on the competition for as much info as he can get. He’s always been a bit of a showboat and because of his background everyone is going to expect him to be a Traitor. I have a feeling his time here will be like his time on Survivor: Game Changers, where he was voted off second because no one could trust him.
Will be best as: Traitor
“Boston” Rob Mariano
Where you might know them from: He’s played Survivor five times and lost four of them — however, he met his wife, Amber Brkich, on Survivor: All Stars, so that’s kind of like winning. He and Brkich have been on The Amazing Race twice and he was most recently on the first season of Deal or No Deal Island.
Relevant reality skills: Rob, while deadly charming, has always played Survivor by putting his confidence (some would say cockiness) and expertise (some would say arrogance) on full display. His one win on Redemption Island found him becoming the leader of a cabal and marching them straight to the finale, which is a strategy that almost worked last year for Peter Weber and the “Peter Pals.” However, Rob’s place in the game is complicated by an early twist in the New Year’s Day sneak peek that reveals he’s not yet officially included in the game, and will only get to compete if someone else is kicked out. I’m betting all of these reality stalwarts will have Rob’s number and keep that from happening.
Will be best as: Traitor
Wild Cards
After season two ushered season one’s Kate Chastain back into the castle as the game was already in progress, we should expect Alan to throw the cast a few curveballs, and fans a few bones, by bringing back some favorites. While there is a brief glimpse of Chastain and fellow season-two Traitor Parvati Shallow in the trailer dressed as black and white queens, respectively, I would guess they’re part of a (chess-themed) challenge rather than returning victors, but what if players have a choice about bringing one back into the castle? If they’re set on bringing back a real fan favorite, Phaedra Parks is of course the odds-on pick. Or maybe producers will go in the complete opposite direction: There’s been online speculation that Johnny “Bananas” Devenanzio, the first person murdered last season, could be “revived” based on some comments made by producers last winter. Any of these scenarios, plus ones we couldn’t possibly dream up, could upend the game at any moment. And isn’t that, after all, why we love The Traitors?