My brother’s girlfriend dumped him to continue her relationship with our Dad
DEAR DEIDRE: MY brother’s girlfriend dumped him because she wants to continue her relationship with our Dad.
I’m a 27-year-old woman and my dad is 57. My mum lives abroad with my stepfather.
My brother’s girlfriend is also my best friend. She’s 26 and my brother is 24. They have been together for two years.
I’m a project manager for a cosmetic company and I was invited out to a new high-rise restaurant in town after completing a successful advertising campaign.
My bubble of happiness soon burst when I saw my father and my brother’s girlfriend sitting by the window, holding hands across the table.
My dad spotted me and he looked distinctly uncomfortable and asked for the bill.
He phoned me that evening and admitted to having an affair with my brother’s girlfriend – and that he was happy. He said they’d been in a relationship for a year.
The next thing was, my brother phoned me in tears saying that his girlfriend had ended their relationship with no explanation. He’s heartbroken.
I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, trying to comfort my brother when really, I want to punch my friend’s lights out. I can’t even look at my father, never mind speak to him.
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DEIDRE SAYS: This dilemma is not your problem to solve. It is your father’s.
Family secrets have a habit of coming out and if their relationship continues, your brother will surely discover the truth soon.
They are at very different life stages so for damage limitation where he’s concerned, the best you can hope for is that this relationship fizzles out.
Talk to your dad and tell him that you’re struggling to hold this information and he should consider your brother’s feelings – what he is doing may ruin his relationship with his son.
You can both find understanding guidance through Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, tel: 0808 800 2222).
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