I stayed with my parents for 30 days after giving birth. My mom took care of me and my baby.

• Alisha Pasha is a 26-year-old from Pakistan, and is now living in Dubai.
• She had her first baby in March 2021 and stayed at her mom's house for 30 days after giving birth.
• Each time she visits her mom, or her mom visits her, Alisha feels she can rest.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Alisha Pasha. It has been edited for length and clarity.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was shocked. I had been planning to move with my partner to the UK to study for my Master's, but with my pregnancy, we decided to stay in Pakistan.

The thought of becoming a mother was both exciting and overwhelming. I was confused about how I would manage to care for a baby while working and studying.

When my son was born in March 2021, I immediately drove from where I was living to stay with my mom. In Pakistani and Indian culture, it's tradition that a woman who gives birth stays at her parents' house for 30 to 40 days before returning home.

I was eager to keep this tradition, so my son and I moved in with my parents, with my partner coming back and forth for visits.

My mom took care of me

For 30 days, I lived with my parents and was cared for by my mom.

She went out of her way to care for me, her child. She'd sleep with me, waking whenever I woke to feed the baby, letting me sleep while she held him.

During the day, my son often slept, so I would sleep then, too, knowing my mom was sorting everything else that needed doing in the house.

My mom cooked every single meal for me during those early weeks. I never set foot in the kitchen. All the meals she made me were cooked with ingredients aiding in recovery after birth.

I remember drinking a lot of chicken and beef broth and having turmeric milk every night.

She was taking care of me so I could take care of my baby and rest after labor. I was both a mother and a child during those 30 days.

I feel taken care of when I'm with my mom

When I returned home after being at my mom's house, life felt difficult. It was a huge adjustment to learn how to juggle my work and the baby. My partner is a very hands-on dad, but his job required him to work long hours, so most of the caring responsibility was left to me.

While we lived in Pakistan, I would drive four hours with my son every two months to stay with my parents. As soon as I got close to their house, I could feel the 'mother' in me leave my body. It was like a child would come into my soul — I knew both myself and my baby were about to be taken care of by my mom.

I'd often save a lot of my work for these trips, as my parents could have the baby, and take care of all the household duties.

In October, my partner and I moved to Dubai, a three-and-a-half-hour plane ride from my mom. Recently, my mom and dad visited us. It was the first time I had ever hosted them in my house. I wanted to take care of them while they were here, as they have always been the ones taking care of me and my baby.

But my mom, being my mom, constantly helped out around the house. She mended clothes, cooked food, mopped floors, and cleaned dishes. I tried so hard to stop her, but I suppose it's in her nature to help her own child as much as she could. She wanted me to rest, and I did. Just her being around gave me the license to relax.

My parents' visits have been good for me and my son. He loves his grandparents so much. I love their bond and seeing how the little child in them bursts out when they're around him.

One day, I know I'll be the kind of mom to my son that my mom has been to me.