‘Seek help’ before conflict gets worse
Individuals struggling with family conflicts have been encouraged to seek professional help before the tension escalates.
They have also been encouraged to find more constructive ways to manage disagreements without resorting to violence.
Social worker Fabian Sargeant was one of the professionals who pointed out that too many people were quick to react violently.
“Historically violence has been the go-to action that we’ve learned. We have not been able to teach families conflict management. It’s a learned behaviour and that stems from childhood; ‘if you do something, you get beat’.
“We’ve grown up learning that when things don’t go our way, to lash out. However, we need to have a lot more emotional management and regulation,” he said.
Recognising violence was a go-to reaction for some, he stressed more people should think twice and seek assistance.
“People often want to react with the first thing that comes to their head. But pause. Pausing usually gives the brain time to rationalise, think about alternatives and understand there is always another choice.
He added: “If you don’t think you can trust somebody in your family circle, or have a trusted friend, there are professionals. Professionals are guided by a code of ethics of confidentiality, so there are options out there, it’s just up to you to find the best possible option,” he said.
Psychologist Shawn Clarke made similar comments and urged people to ask for assistance to handle their conflict.
Easy decision
“Nowadays it seems that taking someone’s life is a decision that can be made so easily without giving it any second thought because we are no longer open to dialogue with each other.
“However, sometimes you have to pull back because if both parties are constantly aggressive and moving towards each other it can cause a collision. At some point in time, some people will have to decide to pull back and remove themselves from the situation.
“When it reaches that stage, reach out for some level of professional help,” he said.
Clarke, who is also the Chief executive officer at Supreme Counselling for personal development, said their theme for this year was Rerouting Our Families Through Emotional Intelligence.
Programme enhancement
He said they were hoping to enhance some of their existing programmes while placing more emphasis on families.
“In life, situations will not always go your way and a person may do something that are you not in agreement with, but are you going to resort to violence every time?
“We have to teach our families how to deal with situations without resorting to violence. It is time that we show and remind our families about the importance of family life and without family there is nothing,” he said.
They noted that family members could come into conflict because of finances, substance abuse, mental health challenges and many other issues.
Senior Consultant Psychiatrist at the Psychiatric Hospital Dr Brian Maclachlan was unable to comment specifically on the families.
He, however, suggested that there were available resources for people who were struggling with various issues.
“There are places that persons can go to get guidance, information, and access services. There are mental health clinics there that can assist.
“The Lifeline hotline, run by the Ministry of Health and Wellness, is a place for people to start getting information about services.
“There are counsellors, psychologists and other persons and services in private practice who manage mental health conditions and persons who have substance abuse issues,” he added.
He also said associations such as the National Council on Substance Abuse, Centre for Counselling Addiction Support Alternatives and the Substance Abuse Foundation were great resources to seek help. (TG)
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