Women hate me for my beauty but at 53 I look better than ever… here’s how, from Botox ban to self pleasure secret
EVERY single morning I’m that woman who looks at herself in the mirror and, loving what I see, does a little happy dance.
I might be turning 54 in February but I don’t see that as a reason to settle or give up on my appearance – in fact, I reckon I look better than ever.
It’s probably no surprise that I’m that woman who went viral back in 2012 for daring to write ‘why do women hate me for being beautiful?’
Nowadays, I prefer to share the secrets behind why I am still so easy on the eye in the sixth decade.
Can we ditch the unrealistic expectations that swirl around the beauty industry and the fitness world at this time of year?
There is no quick fix, and if, like me, you want to look good all-year round, maintenance is key.
I still turn heads and that’s why I’m also that woman who is more than happy to dish out tough love advice to other women who want to look and feel fantastic in their 50s.
I please myself
I’ve been married twice and had my fair share of sexual partners.
My second marriage to my hubby Pascal has lasted 16 years and we’ve been together for 17.
While sex ebbs and flows what I have learnt is that self-love is important – I know how to sexually satisfy myself.
Every woman should embrace the world of self-orgasm and sex toys.
If you are feeling the midlife ‘blurgh’ then orgasms are your secret weapon for positive mental health and youthfulness.
When we orgasm our bodies release dopamine, the feel-good hormone, and oxytocin, the love drug.
All of that blood pumping around our bodies gives us a youthful glow too.
The very idea of a woman being sexually confident seems to turn most men on.
As for making a relationship work, nowadays I don’t ask what the other person has to offer me.
Instead I remind myself what I can bring to us.
I put myself first
Since my late 20s I have gone through periods of practicing yoga, meditation and breath-work.
For the last decade I’ve done all three daily.
Yoga gets a bad rap in the wellness world.
You don’t need expensive gear or be able to contort your body into a pretzel.
I roll out my (30-year-old) mat in my office and give myself at least 20 mins each day to go through the poses.
I don’t do fancy headstands because my body doesn’t need them.
I drop those energy vampire friends… Life is too short for relentless nastiness and negativity.
Samantha Brick
Knowing how to regulate my breath means I know how to calm my nervous system.
Nothing stresses me out.
When you meditate you recognise how unique and brilliant we each are. Yes I am always there for others, but I show up for myself first.
Unsurprisingly I’m pretty chilled and an optimist which are qualities that keep me young physically, psychologically and emotionally.
I don’t take any medication and I don’t have any chronic illnesses.
While my genes doubtless play a part – I know that looking after myself does too.
I get ‘ten a day’
I follow a mostly plant-based diet – as hippy as it sounds I see animals as our friends.
But I have no problem with others eating meat.
‘You do you’ is one of my most used phrases.
I have created a life that works for me. I don’t have a microwave.
Those ageing, chemical filled ’ultra processed foods’ aren’t in my freezer or in my cupboards.
As I work from home I cook from scratch. Yes it takes time but we women multi-task so I listen to books or podcasts at the same time.
At this time of the year I eat veggie bakes and protein packed lentil-based dishes.
Protein is our secret weapon in maintaining crucial midlife muscle mass. It’s why I’m a fan of Greek yoghurts too.
As for getting my five-a-day? I easily get ten.
The trick I’ve learnt is to eat in season.
It’s cheaper and our bodies crave different foods at different times of the year.
I banished the booze belly
For two years I’ve been alcohol-free, and no judgement from me if you partake.
But if you’re overweight and have dry skin? Booze is your culprit.
My skin looks fantastic, the rosé tummy I could never get rid of is a thing of the past.
The other no-no is to add calories to drinks. Sugar is out.
I live in France where milk is only given to children, adults drink black coffee and that’s what I’ve done for the last two decades.
Herbal teas are the unsung heroes of the drinks world (and virtually calorie free).
I don’t make excuses
I’ve had dogs all my life and it’s probably no coincidence that I have never been overweight.
Quite simply you have to get outside every single day when you own a pet.
Walking does the trick for me and I deliberately choose circuits with hills and greenery.
Sometimes I’ll wear light ankle weights too.
The right clothing is essential if you are going out in rain or minus temperatures.
Rain or shine, you’ll find me outdoors every single day, there are no excuses.
I never worry about wrinkles
I don’t use injectables such as Botox or filler and the older I have got the more paired back my beauty regime has become.
I get it – on our screens we’re surrounded by women with smooth, shiny and emotionless features.
But let’s normalise ageing for the sisterhood.
Being unable to visually express when we’re feeling sad or happy is not something I want my Gen Z and Millennial nieces to think is empowering (newsflash- they don’t).
Makeup is for when I want to wear it.
And my skin prefers it that way. I use a decent moisturiser, switching to one with an SPF in sunny months.
Soap and water to cleanse my face. I slather oil on my body in the winter when it gets a bit drier. That’s it.
Life is for living, not worrying about wrinkles.
Foods to boost skin health
Shona Wilkinson, lead nutritionist at ethical nutrition and supplement brand DR.VEGAN, says you can give your skin a helping hand by turning your focus to what you eat.
“Many people underestimate the role your diet can play in maintaining healthy, glowing skin,” she told The Sun.
In general terms, packing your diet with fruits, vegetables, lean proteins and healthy fats can prevent all sorts of issues with our skin, Shona says.
It can “reduce the risk of premature ageing, and leave us with a consistently radiant complexion”, the nutritionist explains.
The foods she recommends are:
1. Kiwi
Shona says: “Not only are they rich in vitamin C, which is essential for healthy collagen production, but they’re also great for improving gut health, which has direct implications on our skin.”
2. Berries and cherries
The red fruits are rich in a natural plant-colouring agent called proanthocyanidin, which helps impart their dark colour.
“Proanthocyanidins are potent natural antioxidants – meaning they protect the skin from harmful oxidants that come from the sun, pollution and poor dietary choices,” Shona explains.
“Proanthocyanidins particularly help to protect the collagen in your skin, which helps to provide your skin with structure, strength, and elasticity, reducing wrinkles and providing a general layer of protection.”
3. Chia, flaxseed and fish
Foods like white fish, chia seeds, and avocados are fab for your skin as they’re rich in omega-3 – “a flexible fat used in skin cells to keep the skin healthy, moisturised, and less likely to crack or flake”, the nutritionist explains.
“Importantly, omega-3 fats also help with the production of anti-inflammatory hormones in the body, decreasing any excess skin inflammation or face redness,” she adds.
4. Brussels sprouts, broccoli and mustard greens
Shona says: “Vegetables such as Brussel sprouts, broccoli and mustard greens are rich in isothiocyanates, which support the function of the liver by protecting it from damage from toxins, especially alcohol.
“Research shows that reducing alcohol intake and increasing the consumption of cruciferous vegetables can help your liver to function properly and leave your skin toxin-free.”
5. Oranges, red peppers and strawberries
Shona says: “In order, to produce all the collagen your skin needs to keep you glowing every day, the body needs a substantial amount of both Vitamin C and protein.
“This is because vitamin C is used in a process called hydroxylation, which converts protein into collagen.
“Try incorporating lots of citrus fruits such as oranges, red peppers, strawberries, or tomatoes into your diet.”
I drop ‘vampire’ friends
I deliberately remain curious about the world. Yes, I have friends in their 80s.
It is humbling to hear about World War II. I’m also close to my 70 something parents.
To remain vibrant I place huge importance on knowing the values the younger generations are prioritising and how they see our world.
I have deliberately cultivated friendships with women in their 20s and 30s.
Trust me a millennial will always pull me up over my workaholic tendencies.
I’m happy to let my 20-year-old niece Gen Z give me a glow up (that’s a makeover Gen X friends).
I spend time on TikTok familiarising myself with the latest relationship trends including ‘we listen and don’t judge.’
I reckon we age when we stop being curious about our world and refuse to embrace newness.
I’m there for life wobbles when girlfriends need me.
But I drop those energy vampire friends. And I don’t do gossip or bitchiness. Remember – we are the company we keep.
Life is too short for relentless nastiness and negativity.