I adopted an embryo and then became a mum at 50 – I don’t believe being an older parent is selfish

KIA is proud of her midlife motherhood journey; with a friend while pregnant; smiling with son Samuel; in hospital with her newborn.

Kia Glover, 51, is a consultant to independent musicians and a publisher. she lives in Atlanta, USA, with son Samuel, 13 months.

“My hands were shaking with excitement as I put the phone down. After a decade of heartbreak, I’d just heard I was finally pregnant. I was going to be a mum at 50.

It had been a childhood dream to one day become a mother, and in my 20s and 30s I was sure I’d meet the perfect guy to start a family with.

I had a few serious relationships, but in 2012, 39 and single, that confidence was wavering.

Aged 40, I tried freezing my eggs. It was then that I discovered I had a diminished ovarian reserve, which was devastating.

Meanwhile, the men I met either didn’t want kids, had already had a vasectomy or turned out not to be single.

At 45, I made the huge decision to pursue adoption as a single parent, and was thrilled to be selected by a pregnant 16 year old to be the mother of her child.

However, after she gave birth, she decided to keep the baby, which was heartbreaking. At first, I waited, hoping another woman would pick me, but then Covid hit.

In November 2022, as I was starting to consider IVF, I read about embryo donation, which is when a woman or couple donate their leftover embryos from their own IVF treatment.

In January 2023, I chose two different embryos, in case one didn’t stick. They were both boys. After years of disappointment, I was so hopeful.

This was my chance. Using separate donor eggs and sperm would cost tens of thousands and might not even be successful.

But this way, the embryos had all been screened, were ready to be implanted and cost half as much as going through IVF myself.

I spent a month viewing the details of available embryos on the website. Some had pictures of both donors as adults or babies, others had one photo or none, and there were no names of the donors.

In January 2023, I chose two different embryos, in case one didn’t stick. They were both boys. After years of disappointment, I was so hopeful.

Only one friend knew what I was doing, as I didn’t want to face people’s disappointment if it didn’t work. I also knew some might judge me.

I didn’t believe that trying for a baby at 49 was selfish, though.

I was healthy and energetic, with grandparents who’d lived into their 90s. I was also more responsible and solvent than when I was younger, and could plan for the baby’s financial future.

I wasn’t a millionaire

Celebrities such as Janet Jackson, who had her baby at 50, and Brigitte Nielsen, who had hers at 54, inspired me.

I wasn’t a millionaire like them, but they gave me confidence that I wasn’t crazy.

In March 2023 I had my embryo transfer, and nine days later I took a pregnancy test.

Given the risks, I delivered at 37 weeks by Caesarean that November. Holding Samuel for the first time, tiny at 5lb 11oz, I was overwhelmed with love.

Discovering it was positive, I was in shock. Friends and wider family were supportive and, despite my age, it was an easy pregnancy.

My doctor was reassuring – she’d delivered a baby to a woman aged 67, so I was a springchicken!

Given the risks, I delivered at 37 weeks by Caesarean that November. Holding Samuel for the first time, tiny at 5lb 11oz, I was overwhelmed with love.

New motherhood was an emotional, exhausting whirlwind, but I didn’t miss my old life.

I’d had my party years, and being with Samuel was the only place I wanted to be.

In the year since his birth, I’ve never been mistaken for his grandma.

People are often surprised when I tell them my age, but it never bothers me.

When Samuel’s old enough, I’ll tell him how he was conceived.

It isn’t possible for him to find the donors through the embryo agency as it was an anonymous donation, but he could do a DNA test and potentially find them that way.

When I think about him going to university, getting married and having kids, I do worry I might miss those moments.

But over the past 12 years, I found a strength I didn’t know I had, which is why I wrote a book about my journey.

Being a mum was my destiny, and I want other women to know that it’s never too late.”

•  Fooling My Fertility & Expecting At 50: How I Had A Baby In Midlife & You Can Too by Kia Glover (£12.40, One Nation Publishing) is out now.