My boyfriend hasn’t had sex with me for 7 YEARS – he says there’s nothing wrong so now I’m getting my kicks elsewhere
A WOMAN whose boyfriend hasn’t had sex with her for seven years has defended her decision to have an affair.
She explained that she’s tried to talk to her man on multiple occasions about his “low sex drive”, but he “refuses to do anything” about it.
And the situation is even more frustrating because she’s otherwise “very happy” and feels “fulfilled” in every aspect of their relationship.
But after having the same conversation with her man for seven years – as well as offering to go to therapy or to the doctor with him – she “finally snapped” and cheated.
“I know cheating was wrong,” she wrote in the post on Reddit.
“But isn’t withholding sex from your partner for seven years also wrong?”
She explained that the “constant rejection” she experienced from him was “chipping away at my self-esteem and self-confidence”, and she was “spiralling into a very dark headspace”.
She began “drinking too much” and was even put on anti-depressants by the GP.
“Leaving just isn’t an option for me right now for several reasons, and I don’t even know if that’s what I want because I do adore him despite the lack of intimacy,” she continued.
The poster also stressed that she had done “absolutely everything” in her power to fix the lack of sex in the relationship before making the decision to cheat.
“I’m not heartless, and I do feel immense guilt for what I’ve done,” she added.
But she concluded: “If he doesn’t care about my needs or my feelings, why should I show him the same consideration?”
However, the majority of people in the comments section insisted the woman was in the wrong for continuing the relationship despite knowing she was going to cheat.
“You could simply break up with him,” one wrote.
“You chose not to.
“He is wrong for not caring and not wanting to get help but you should have ended the relationship.”
“You should have broken up with him, not cheated,” another added.
“Don’t come in here and try to make it out like it’s his fault you stepped out on him – you made that choice all on your own.”
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
“If you loved him, you wouldn’t want to hurt him and you’d understand that it’s best to leave the relationship instead of cheating on him,” a third agreed.
“Cheating is NEVER excusable.”
But others were more on the side of the woman, with one writing: “He clearly doesn’t care about your sexual needs, which are an important part of a relationship.
“Everyone in the replies saying to ‘just break up’ doesn’t know your situation.
“We are human at the end of the day. And 7 years is A LONG TIME to put up with it.”
“Although cheating is wrong it’s hard for me to blame you in your situation,” another mused.
“Honestly if your husband isn’t willing to work with you on this for 7 years I’d find it hard to stay in a relationship like this.”