I saw my husband of 20 years in a whole new light on New Year’s Eve – I’m now trapped with him & 2 kids & feel betrayed
A MOTHER has revealed that she saw her husband in a whole new light on New Year’s Eve when he was caught getting frisky with someone else.
But not only did this woman’s husband cheat on her, but he did it with her close friend.
And if that wasn’t bad enough, it happened at their own party, in their kitchen.
Clearly distraught, the anonymous woman took to social media to share an insight into her situation, leaving many stunned.
Posting on Mumsnet on a Relationships forum, the woman wrote under the username @mum2be2013 and titled her post ‘My husband cheated on me with my friend at Christmas’.
She then explained: “My husband cheated on me with someone who I thought was a close friend at a New Year’s Eve party at our home.
“I only found out as her husband caught them in the act in the kitchen.
“I asked him to move out to give me time to think when it happened but he refused. He says it was a drunken mistake.”
But the mum-of-two explained that now she feels trapped and doesn’t know what to do.
She continued: “We’ve been together 20 years and have two small children (three and six).
“I’m a stay at home mum and so I’m completely dependent on him financially at the moment and I have no where I could go to to get away (with the children of course). So I feel trapped with him.”
The mother explained that she now finds herself constantly crying and isn’t sure how she will get over her heartbreak.
She confessed: “I can manage to be polite to him and pretend everything is fine in front of the children but I can’t imagine ever being intimate with him again as I feel so betrayed.
“When the children are both out (my little one has nursery three mornings) I find myself just crying.
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
“I never thought my husband would cheat on me and now I can’t imagine getting over this and being a family again.”
Mumsnet users react
Mumsnet users were left open-mouthed by the woman’s confession and quickly flocked to the comments to share their advice and guidance, with many suggesting she see a solicitor and leave her marriage for good.
One person said: “So sorry this has happened to you.
“I would suggest you get some financial information regarding benefits and start looking for a part time job so you’re less dependent on him.”
If the trust has gone, the marriage is over
Reddit user
Another added: “I’m sorry, what a horrible thing he’s done to you. And some friend she is.
“Please go and see a solicitor and find out your legal position. It may not be as grim as you think.”
A third commented: “There’s really no coming back from this and you deserve better. Copping off with your friend in YOUR kitchen! No. No no no. It’s over. If he can do that then he’s capable of anything!
“What’s the finances like? Are there savings? Equity in the house? Take back power. Go see a solicitor (some do a free half hour) and find out what you’ll be entitled to.”
Whilst someone else chimed in: “Doubt it’s the first time he’s cheated on you. If the trust has gone, the marriage is over.”