Miss Manners: Can I decline to hug people in my wedding receiving line?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m going to be wed soon and plan to have a receiving line. This will be during the cocktail hour between the wedding and reception, while the venue is rearranged.
Is there a way to politely decline hugging people during this?
I’m dreading the mishaps that will occur while holding food and drink, not to mention mussing up my hair. Are two-handed handshakes suitable enough?
GENTLE READER: No and yes. That is, handshakes are suitable, but hugs from the awkward uncle who does not know what to do with his plate — even if he has not yet had a cocktail — may be unavoidable.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the janitor at a truck stop. What is the best way for me (a man) to announce myself when entering the women’s restroom to clean it?
I start with calling out, “Hello. Janitor. Is anyone in here?” but it just doesn’t sound right. Some ladies say nothing in response, and if I didn’t look under all the stall doors, I would have walked in on them. Other ladies sound completely panic-stricken, like I’m going to storm right in.
I work the night shift, and there is not another lady on staff to ask.
GENTLE READER: A solution to this is in use in most American airports today, although Miss Manners is unaware of the identity of the clever colleague of yours who first put it into practice.
Acquire a small sign saying that the facility is being cleaned, and place it in front of the entrance to the women’s restroom — then leave it there while you go work on the men’s room. That should give anyone in the women’s restroom enough time to clear out, allowing you to proceed there with a clear conscience.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I inwardly cringe when I’m given a plant that doesn’t fit with my garden plan.
I usually let it sit in its pot for a while and eventually drop it into the compost heap.
Which is the better response: Accept the gift and later compost it? Or tell the person I’d prefer to decline their gift, as it doesn’t fit my plan?
GENTLE READER: The former. The plant, even if its feelings are hurt, won’t be able to tell anyone.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Whether at home, at another person’s house or in a restaurant, what does one do when food from one’s plate drops on the table?
GENTLE READER: Although she is inclined to think of those as three separate questions, Miss Manners acknowledges a common first step in all scenarios: Do not pretend that it did not happen.
At home, you will likely have to clean it up yourself. At someone else’s house or in a restaurant, you will want to draw it to the attention of a host or waiter. Ask for assistance, but also offer to do the work — with more or less conviction and insistence depending on the setting, the level of formality and the extent of the resulting mess.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.