‘It really is that deep’: Expert says ‘micro-cheating’ will ‘devastate’ your relationship. But not everyone’s onboard

A TikTok user is redefining what counts as fidelity, claiming that "micro-cheating" could be the ultimate marriage killer. Suzanna Roxanne (@suzanneroxanne) dropped her latest viral video on relationships on Oct. 28, and it has already racked up over 585,000 views.

According to Roxanne, being faithful goes beyond simply avoiding physical infidelity. She argues that some behaviors, while not outright cheating, can dangerously toe the line. “Being faithful is not just physically honoring your marriage. It is emotionally honoring the commitment you made to this woman,” she explained.

Shocked by the normalization of seeking external validation, she argues that blurring boundaries and justifying such behavior undermines the protection of one’s relationship.

“Who wants to be in a relationship where you’re blurring this line?” she questioned. It is not hard to have boundaries to protect your relationship, and not walking this line of ‘Well, I can flirt but as long as I don’t touch.' Who wants that relationship? That sounds terrible.”

She believes these behaviors foster contempt and resentment—the ultimate death knell of any marriage.

“Then people wonder why they can’t make their marriage work, why they hate each other,” she said. “Because you normalize emotional cheating, sending that flirty text, having that flirty conversation with your female coworker.”

What is micro-cheating?

Psychology Today describes it as “small breaches of trust” that fall short of crossing a physical line. Examples include behaviors like leaving a wedding ring at home before heading out solo or secretly messaging an ex online. 

The term was coined in 2017 by dating expert Melanie Shilling, who defined micro-cheating more broadly as “a series of seemingly small actions that show someone is emotionally or physically focused on someone outside their relationship.”

This ambiguity is what makes micro-cheating so challenging and insidious in nature. It’s not always obvious, easy to confront, or simple to discuss.

People open up about their relationship experiences

A few people shared some eye-opening confessions about their experience with micro-cheating and emotional cheating in both past and current relationships.

“My husband discusses my marriage with his female friend,” one commenter admitted. “He can’t see this devastates and humiliates me. I’m close to being done.”

Another shared, “Exactly! My husband of 35 years always had a wondering eye, flirted with women in front of me, followed scantily clad woman on Instagram. Just kicked him out after 35 yrs! Done. Healing and heartbroken.”

Someone else wrote, “Literally had an argument trying to explain how “harmless flirting” is still disrespectful.”

Another commenter added, “My heart broke to pieces when I found out my husband checks out other women and his search engine is just filled with women…”

@suzanneroxanne And these “little things” always lead to physical cheating. It really is that deep, I promise! #redflags #datingadvice #toxicrelationship #cheaters #couples #boyfriends #relationship #marriedlife #marriage #husbandandwife #relationshipadvice ♬ original sound - SuzanneRoxanne????Marriage•Love

The Daily Dot reached out to Roxanne for comment via TikTok direct message.

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