My New Year’s resolutions for politicians. No1: Keir Starmer, avoid a recession

CHRISTMAS is already a distant memory for our political leaders.

They have gorged themselves on one too many turkey sandwiches and swigged the last of Granny’s Baileys.

The rest of us will be happy if we are able to shed our excess Christmas pounds with a few extra star jumps down the gym.

But for Labour, the Tories and Reform UK, the stakes are a great deal higher.

As their hangovers fade, the party leaders are turning to 2025 and their New Year resolutions. So I’ve got a few suggestions of my own.

Top of the list for PM Keir Starmer must be avoiding a recession.

Our economy is flatlining.

High Streets, once packed with bargain-hunters shopping in the sales, are eerily quiet. Pubs are shutting early. Angry farmers blockade the streets.

Rachel Reeves’ decision to drop a £40billion tax bomb in her Budget is looking more nutty than Keir Starmer’s vegetarian Christmas dinner.

The PM MUST get growth going. That means slashing red tape and cutting — not hiking — taxes.

Next up, Sir Keir must fix the NHS.

He says tax rises are worth it to cut hospital waiting lists. Well, he had better cut them then.

 NHS reforms are due to be unveiled next month. These must be a game-changer.

We all love the NHS, but we can’t bankrupt ourselves to pay for it.

So the PM needs to slash waste, not just keep throwing billion after billion of taxpayer cash at it.

Third on the PM’s to-do list should be a relationship with Donald Trump’s White House.

They don’t seem ideal partners for a bromance, but who knows?

A full-blown free trade deal may be too much of a tall order but the PM will need to use all of Britain’s soft power to avoid trade tariffs.

Expect an invite for Trump to visit Britain and King Charles.

Given the President’s love for Scotland, may I suggest laying on a few Tunnock’s tea cakes and shortbread over a cuppa at the Palace? Or, better still, Balmoral?

Last but not least, Sir Keir must crack down on the Channel crisis.

More than 150,000 migrants have crossed since the crisis began in 2018.

Britain can have no faith in its security if it cannot control its borders.

Illegal immigration must come down.

Shaking up British politics

As the new Tory leader, Kemi Badenoch faces a daunting challenge in 2025.

The Conservatives were once the natural party of government.

But they were crushed at the last election and are hated by many.

This year, Kemi needs to roll up her sleeves and thrust herself into the centre of politics if she wants to grab the attention of voters.

With charismatic Nigel Farage on her right and Keir Starmer wielding a huge majority on her left, there is no time for Kemi to go quiet and spend months pondering the finer points of policy.

She needs to show she can bloody her opponents.

If I were her, I would attack Labour relentlessly on tax.

Kemi must also show she can breathe new life — and members — into her party base.

Comeback kid

After all, Reform say they now have more paid-up supporters than the Tories.

Comeback kid Nigel Farage had a brilliant 2024.

Finally elected to parliament, the Reform UK leader has five MPs, four million votes and is the insurgent shaking up British politics, perhaps for ever.

But he must not let his victories go to his head like one too many glasses of cut-price prosecco.

There is chatter that Elon Musk will donate £80million to Reform.

But talk is cheap, and Farage needs to bank that cheque.

With his pal Trump in the White House, Farage is offering to be a helpful middle man between the new President and No10.

Keir should consider taking him up on this offer if it helps Britain avoid crippling US trade tariffs.

The year 2025 looks set to be quite a ride for our political leaders. They should buckle up.

THE Guinness shortage is real.

I popped into my local on Friday night only to discover they had run out.

The barmaid said they had run dry over Christmas, telling me: “There is a national shortage, you know.”

A group of lads were also aghast that their favourite tipple was off.

What else should they order, they wondered aloud.

In the end one went for a G&T.

I didn’t see that coming.

DRAGON DEBORAH TO FIRE UP RACE FOR MAYOR?

DRAGONS’ Den star Deborah Meaden is in the frame to be Labour’s next candidate for London Mayor.

Sadiq Khan is widely expected to stand down when he finishes his current term – and the unofficial race to succeed him is already under way.

Labour MPs Dawn Butler and Dr Rosena Allin-Khan have their eyes on the job – which Boris Johnson did before becoming PM.

But I’m told some party insiders are keen for a big-hitter away from Westminster and want the TV Dragon as their candidate.

A senior Labour Party source said: “Deborah’s name is being talked about.

“She has star power and business know-how, and she is close to Rachel Reeves.”

Deborah ran a multimillion-pound family holiday business before finding fame on the hit BBC TV show.

She has posted several messages on Twitter/X which are supportive of Labour and the Chancellor.

In one, she defended Ms Reeves over accusations the Labour politician had sexed up her CV.

In another she praised Ms Reeves for “getting on with it” by appointing a commissioner to investigate Covid corruption.

Labour may be pitching hard for Deborah to be their woman in City Hall.

But it remains to be seen if the telly star will invest – or tell them: “I’m out”.

FOOTIE A FAMILY AFFAIR

I READ that Prince Louis is an Aston Villa fan like his dad, Prince William.

There is nothing unusual about that – most kids “inherit” their football team from their mum or dad or siblings. But not me.

We grew up in North London – bang on the border between Tottenham and Arsenal territory.

Yet I wanted to copy my brother who was a Man United fan. But my brother said no.

Instead he told me I could support his second-favourite team – Ipswich Town.

Being the eager younger sibling, I agreed.

I even got an Ipswich Town scarf for my Christmas present and named my pet goldfish (won at the local fair) John Wark, after the team’s legendary midfielder.

After a couple of years I clocked that my brother actually had no interest in Ipswich Town and the whole thing had been a wind-up on me.

I gave up Ipswich Town and joined most of my classmates in supporting Arsenal instead.

I think I still have the scarf somewhere though . . .

COMMON TRAITS . . .

THE Traitors is all about deception, betrayal and backstabbing.

So it should come as no surprise that a high-flying Labour Party staffer applied to go on the TV show.

The party aide thought his experience in the dark arts of political spin would make him the ideal contestant.

An insider said: “Politics is all about shifting alliances and being able to plunge the knife when you need to. It is the ideal training ground for The Traitors.”

But it seems that the treachery and skullduggery of Westminster was too much for BBC bosses to stomach.

The Labour Party aide did not get a spot on the show.

Well, who would trust a politico who said they are “100 per cent faithful”?

PRICE POSSE NEED LIMITS

WE have all seen them in our local supermarket – aisle lurkers who wait for the shop assistant with the yellow stickers to discount the food.

Before you know it, they have nabbed all the best cut-price gear.

Mouth-watering steaks, lamb chops and posh bangers are scooped up in the blink of an eye and you are left with a manky old tub of coleslaw and some half-price runner beans.

I fell foul of another type of aisle-lurker the other day – the half-price Itsu one.

The High Street sushi chain flogs all its fresh food at half price 30 minutes before closing time.

I go every Saturday night when I work late, so I can get a posh sushi meal for a fiver.

Last week I arrived bang on time only to find the aisles barren.

At the checkout there was a man with a massive bag of sushi swag in it.

He must have picked up 20 platters of the stuff.

It was enough to feed the five thousand!

Turns out there is no limit to how many half-price Itsus you can buy.

I left, hungry and disappointed.

Now I love a bargain as much as the next girl, but should there be a limit to how many discounts an aisle-lurker can bag?

NEW Year’s Eve is nearly here and that means fireworks.

Cities around the world will light up with dazzling displays as people see in 2025 with a bang.

But a friend of mine has had to ditch his New Year’s Eve fireworks display because a neighbour complained it scares her horses.

Of course people love their pets, and some animals get spooked by loud noises.

But fireworks are a great tradition and are only let off on New Year’s Eve or Bonfire night. And the occasional wedding.

Live and let live.

Let us firework lovers enjoy the one or two days a year we can let them off.

You can mollycoddle your pets all year round!