My ex-husband shot me three times in front of our children before taking his own life, that day will haunt me forever
LYING in a pool of blood, Jade Butler looked up to see her husband towering above her, pointing a gun to her face.
Having already suffered three gunshot wounds and a brutal beating, Jade, 29, was convinced that she was going to die in front of her two terrified young children.
But Joseph Panariello, 40, quietly left the room and took his own life instead.
Thankfully, Jade’s children were unharmed, but she suffered life-threatening injuries.
Miraculously, she survived and is now bravely sharing her story in a bid to help other vicitims of domestic violence.
The mother-of-three from Arkansas in the US says: “I want others to recognise the warning signs of an abusive relationship and leave while you can.
“I count my blessings every day that my children and I got out alive.”
First signs of a ‘mean streak’
Jade met Panariello at work in January 2017 and the following year, she fell pregnant with their daughter, Juliette, now five.
In May 2019, when she was seven months pregnant, Jade and Panariello married.
She says Panariello was the perfect dad, but the same couldn’t be said for the way he treated her.
Jade remembers: “He was amazing with Juliette and my son, Jayden, from a previous relationship.
“But with me, he’d started to show a mean streak. He controlled how much I ate and which friends I could see.”
In December 2021, Jade fell pregnant again but Panariello was in and out of jobs and the family were struggling financially.
Jade says: “I tried to be a supportive wife, but he constantly lashed out at me.
“He’d say: ‘You’re not worth anything’, ‘I wish I didn’t have children with you, you repulse me’.
“I believed in our marriage, so I stayed.”
But after their son, Julius, now two, was born, Panariello’s abuse escalated.
‘I heard a loud bang’
In July 2023, on Juliette’s fourth birthday, he accused Jade of cheating.
Jade explains: “He grabbed my hair, threw me against the front door and spat in my face.
“I knew I needed to get out, if not for me, for my kids.”
Jade secretly looked for an apartment and moved in with their children whilst Panariello was at work one day.
She says: “Joseph begged me to go home, but I stood my ground.
“We made an arrangement for him to see the children at the weekends while I worked.”
The following month, in August 2023, while Jade was at work, Panariello bombarded her with texts, claiming she was seeing someone else.
She urged him to calm down and explained they could talk when she collected the children.
Jade explains: “When I arrived at his, he was angry.
He walked into the bedroom and I heard a gunshot, followed by a loud thud
Jade Butler
“As I bent down to pick Julius up off the floor where he was lying, I heard a loud bang.
“Then I felt a warm sensation all over my body, before collapsing on top of Julius.”
‘The memories will haunt me forever’
Panariello fired another bullet, which hit Jade’s right shoulder blade, before shooting her a final time in the stomach.
Hearing the gunshots, Juliette, who had been sleeping on the sofa, woke up screaming and ran outside to the neighbour’s house.
Jade remembers: “Joseph grabbed my hair and started punching me in the face.
“I couldn’t breathe and felt freezing cold.”
Panariello then pointed the gun at Jade’s face and told her to call the police.
When officers pulled up outside, she claims he told her ‘I can’t kill you, someone has to raise the kids’.
How you can get help
Women's Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
- Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – messageinfo@supportline.org.uk.
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
Jade says: “He walked into the bedroom and I heard a gunshot, followed by a loud thud.”
Panariello had shot himself, taking his own life.
Jade was airlifted to St. Bernards Medical Center in Arkansas, while her mum collected the kids.
That night, she was taken for emergency surgery, where three bullets were removed from her lower left abdomen, right shoulder blade and right buttock.
Surgeons also repaired damage that had been caused to her bladder and doctors told the mum she was lucky to be alive.
Juliette asked me where her daddy had gone, so I had to explain that he’s longer here
Jade Butler
Jade spent three days in hospital and was reunited with her children later that month on Julius’ first birthday.
She says: “I’d missed them all so much.
“Juliette asked me where her daddy had gone, so I had to explain he’s longer here.
“It’s heartbreaking, but one day, when they’re both old enough, I’ll tell them the truth.”
Jade adds: “Thankfully, my wounds have healed, but the memories of that day will haunt me forever.
“I’m so grateful to be alive.”