I hate big birthday parties for kids and won't ever throw one for my son. I prefer our small family dinner.

• Whenever my son comes home with an invitation to a big birthday party, I'm filled with dread.
• The birthday kid can't connect with everyone, and making small talk with parents is awkward.
• I prefer our tradition of small family pizza parties.

My son is turning 11 this year, and it's the first time he has asked me if he could invite some of his friends from school to his birthday dinner. I told him that I wanted to maintain our tradition of having just our family over to celebrate his birthday, but that next year, we could plan something additional for him to do with a few of his closest friends.

However, no matter what, we'll still keep doing our traditional small family party, and I can't imagine that will change anytime soon.

My son's pizza parties have become a family tradition

Since my son was born, we have invited our close family members for a pizza party to celebrate his birthday. There ends up being about 10 of us, and since it's just family, it almost has the feel of a holiday get together. After pizza, we have cake and then he opens his presents. The entire time, my son is the center of attention, but I'm glad, because I want him to feel loved on his birthday.

Since we keep the guest list small, everyone knows each other, and my son has time to truly visit with everyone. Plus, the fact that it's the same group of people that come every year makes it more special. It feels like everyone there is partly raising him and has the privilege of getting to watch him grow up.

Even though it's not a big party, I still decorate so that it doesn't feel like just another day. Plus, because my son has a December birthday, the Christmas decor has always doubled as party decor. When my son was really little, I think he thought Christmas was for him, so the time of year has always been on my side.

While my son likes going to big parties, I do not

I am filled with dread whenever my son comes home from school with a birthday invitation. While he has fun at these parties, I do not. I have always disliked the large kids' birthday party, as I find myself wandering around and trying to supervise my son and his friends or awkwardly trying to make small talk with other parents.

These large gatherings always make me question my own decision to keep my son's parties small, so I've always paid attention to the child whose birthday it is. I have noticed that there isn't enough time for them to visit with everyone that comes and that their family members get the least of their attention.

These children want to play with their friends, just as my son would if he had a big party like that. The events remind me of my own childhood parties, which were large, or of my wedding as an adult, where the party is a whirlwind, and I'm left feeling like I missed out on seeing everyone.

I feel I've made the right decision in keeping our celebrations simple

While my son is getting older and his birthdays will change to a degree, I'm glad I've kept them small. I know he has a great time. This year when everyone left, he said he didn't want his birthday party to be over, and I knew it was because he loves to spend time with everyone that came over.

His relationship with his friends is different, so as he gets older, he can celebrate with them as well, but separately and in a different way. What I have always wanted for my son on his birthday is just for him to know he is loved, and I think the smaller, more intimate gatherings achieve that best.