I was stared at until I got a face transplant in 50-hour surgery – it’s the best present… now I’m looking for a wife

LISA Pfaff watches as her son Derek lifted up the mirror and looked at his reflection. 

For the first time in years Derek smiles at what he sees and while it isn’t a face he recognises, to him it means the whole world.

“To see my son finally able to look in a mirror and be happy with what he sees is the best gift I could ever ask for,” Lisa, 55, says.

“I hugged him tight as he told me he ‘looked OK again’. Just looking virtually normal again would open up so many doors for him.”

It was a far cry from when Lisa saw her son for the first time lying in a hospital bed after he’d attempted to take his own life with a shotgun. 

Lisa, and her husband Jerry, were parents to Derek, then 20, Justin, 22, Brandon, 16, Devin, 12, and their daughter Shaelyn, six, when life changed for the family who she describes as being ‘pretty normal’.

“We were a sporty bunch, and were always going out to some match or other at the weekends, cheering them on on the football or basketball pitches,” she says.

“And we loved camping too as a family – we’d pack our gear up at the weekend and head out to some beauty spot and spend time together.

“Derek was a perfectionist – he hated it when he didn’t get things right and put a lot of pressure on himself – but apart from that, he was a popular guy with lots of friends and he loved playing football. 

“And he was so caring too, to anyone who was struggling. He played golf and in one recent competition he’d seen one lad struggling to carry his clubs, and he went over and offered to carry them for him.”

In March 2014, Jerry and Lisa had settled down to watch TV while Derek had a few friends round who were playing pool in the basement. 

At 10:30 as Lisa headed off for bed, Derek came up to the living room.

She says: “He gave me a hug and said goodnight and suggested that we go to church the next day as it was Ash Wednesday, and I agreed.

“Jerry came to bed soon after me, but at 1am we both woke up. I went to check on Derek but he wasn’t in bed.”

Lisa and Jerry went looking for their son.

“The basement was in darkness, so his friends had gone home,” Lisa recalls.

“Then Jerry went outside and shouted out.”

The couple made a horrifying discovery.

“Derek was lying in the snow outside, with a gun next to him. He had blown his face off with the shotgun,” Lisa Recalls.

The couple called 911, but desperate to get him to the hospital Jerry put him in the car and drove the two miles to the nearest hospital. 

Derek’s injuries were so severe, the dad didn’t know if his son was alive and when Lisa reached the hospital, she and Jerry weren’t allowed to see him.

As Derek’s life hung in the balance, the couple were asked to consider organ donation.

“We couldn’t understand what had happened, and why Derek would do this to himself,” Lisa says.

“He had good friends, hobbies and seemed happy.

“The doctors managed to stabilise his condition, but we didn’t know what his quality of life was going to be.” 

Derek was on a life support machine and spent two weeks in an induced coma. He had surgery to remove his entire right eye.

“When Jerry and I were allowed to see him his face was covered in bandages,” Lisa says.

“They brought him out of his coma after two weeks, and I was by his side. ‘Can you move your foot Derek,’ I whispered to him. 

“And he did, so I knew he could hear me. 

“It was those small moments of achievement that kept us going in those first months afterwards. We were devastated, but we had to stay strong for Derek.”

Derek was unable to speak, communicating with his parents in writing on a white board.

He had no memory of what had happened, asking his mum if he had been in a car accident which mean Lisa had to tell her son what had happened.

He looks as normal as he can be now. He is now just another face in the crowd. No-one points or stares at him when he goes out.

Lisa Pfaff

Over the next six years, Derek had 58 facial reconstructive surgeries. But despite all the hours of work by the surgeons to try and rebuild his face, what remained was unrecognisable. 

He had one eye, and was unable to blink. He struggled to speak and breathe normally, lost his sense of smell and needed a feeding tube to eat.

“I should have died that night, so I’m thankful to be alive,” says Derek. 

“But after my last surgery in 2020, the doctor told my parents there was nothing more he could do, except try and refer me for a face transplant.

“It would be life changing for me, and my last ray of hope. But face transplant surgery is rare  – and there are only a few teams in the world that do them.”

The Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, told Derek that it would be their second face transplant they had ever performed, and their most complex procedure to date. 

“They told me 85 per cent of my face would need to be replaced. But I wanted to give it a try,” Derek says.

The transplant involved using the forehead, eyelids, nose, mouth, jaws, as well as the skin muscles and nerves from the face and neck of a deceased man to rebuild Derek’s face.

The meticulous part of the surgery involved reconnecting many of the small nerves between Derek and the donated parts to restore functions like eating, blinking and even smiling. 

An amazing moment

It was a nine-month wait for the family, and in the interim, the surgeons practised virtually using detailed scans of the face and 3D models. 

Finally in February this year, a donor became available and the transplant was carried out, lasting two and a half days.

It was a month after the surgery that Derek saw his reflection for the first time. 

“It was the most amazing moment,” recalls Lisa. 

“He couldn’t believe that it was actually him. 

“He looks as normal as he can be now. He is now just another face in the crowd. No-one points or stares at him when he goes out. 

“Two weeks ago we were sat at the airport, and I looked round and no one was looking at him. It was amazing.

“He can smile now, and speak much clearer, and he will be able to eat too, in time.”

Lisa and Derek have become motivational speakers, sharing Derek’s story in a bid to help suicide prevention. 

“If one person listens to our story and it saves a life, then it’s worth it,” says Derek. 

“I’ve been given a second chance at life and I want to grab it with both hands. I would love to find love, get married and have a family now. That’s my greatest wish.”

And for Lisa, it’s emotional knowing that there was someone out there, whose face was given to her son, to help him fulfil that wish.

“The donor was also 30, the same age as Derek,” she says. 

Derek’s story is mending families and that’s what we want to do.

Lisa Pfaff

“We have written to his family, and they have written back. And one day we would love to meet them. And we want to carry on his legacy too, with the motivational speaking that we are doing.

“And it’s already saved lives. We recently helped a mum whose 16-year-old daughter had tried to take her own life. And we are bringing families back together too. 

“A man came to one of our events, and afterwards he picked up the phone and called his estranged son. 

“They had fallen out years ago, and now he has rebuilt that relationship with him.

“Derek’s story is mending families, and that’s what we want to do.”