Harriette Cole: The step-back approach to a fulfilling Christmas
DEAR READERS: Merry Christmas! It’s amazing that we are already at this time of year.
For those who observe Christmas as a religious holiday, I wish you the peace and hopefulness that this day stands for. For the many who have claimed Christmas as their time to embrace family just a little tighter regardless of their religion, blessings to you, too.
When I was growing up, the holiday season was my family’s favorite. We had a full calendar of activities, many opportunities to dress up and, of course, the promise of presents under the tree.
This season means that festivities are at an all-time high — right alongside spending. I feel the need to remind myself — and you — that it is smart to take a pause at this time and remember to give thanks for the little things.
Do your best not to become overwhelmed by the one-upmanship that sometimes occurs during the holiday season. Find ways to show your loved ones that you care for them that need not be attached to things. Give your time to the people you love.
On Christmas Day and the days surrounding it, look around: Who in your family and community would appreciate a little TLC?
Notice the elders. Be sure to take time to talk to them. Let them recount old tales of when they were young. Ask them about holiday memories. Record what they tell you (if you can). You will treasure those stories for years to come, and if you preserve them, you can share them with the next generation.
Continue to look around. Who are the worker bees in your family? Do they need help? Jump in and volunteer for a dishwashing shift or to make a salad or to clean up the family room after gifts have been opened. Be helpful. Believe it or not, this can also protect you from the nosy family members who always have a thousand questions. If you are busy working and helping out with chores, the busybodies will have less time to meddle!
Remember to carve out quiet time for yourself as well. During larger family gatherings, it can be difficult to have solo moments. Plan a brisk walk outside to clear your head. Step away from any conversations that appear to be getting heated. It can be so easy to be triggered when you gather with people who share a lot of history with you. Don’t fall into the trap. Give yourself an out when things take a turn.
Take a page out of my mother’s book: Actively practice gratitude. Start each day making a list of things that you are grateful for.
Start with the obvious — gratitude for waking up to a new day. Then look around. What do you see that brings you joy? It could be sunlight, or a loved one, a pet or a favorite book, a comfy old robe or pair of slippers, your home. Whatever comes to mind, write it down to make it concrete.
Feel the gratitude for whatever you see, and acknowledge it in your heart. When you feel stretched or stressed, when things don’t seem to be going your way, when the comparisons get you down, go to your list and remind yourself of what you are thankful for.
I, for one, am grateful for all of you!
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.