‘This is how relationships die a quiet death’—Wife slammed for ‘dismissive’ response to man’s nostalgia over 40-year-old wire spool
From the suspect challenge to the throning dating trend, social media is rife with polarizing relationship takes. The latest in these is 'Wiregate.'
On Dec. 18, the internet crowned a new controversial duo when a married couple posted a video displaying what some social media users felt was a wife's disregard for her husband's emotional ruminations over a 40-year-old spool of wire.
On Dec 18, California married couple Cindy Thomas and Dan Burrell posted a video to their joint Instagram and TikTok accounts with the caption, "no one:" and "my husband:" The video featured Thomas walking up to Burrell, who is reflecting deeply on a spool of wire in his hand. Burrell tells his wife, "Forty years of my life are in this wire that's gone. Does that make sense?"
Thomas seemed to ignore what Burrell had just said, saying "I'm a little concerned that you're wearing your Jets hat. I thought that's why you were crying." To which Burrell waves his hand and leaves the frame, responding, "I'm done."
The video was shared across various social platforms, with the original Instagram post receiving over 400,000 likes. Over 21,000 comments weighed in on the relationship dynamic between Burrell and Thomas. Most were critical of Thomas' reaction to Burrell's forthcoming emotions surrounding his spool.
Social media reacts
Hours after the video was posted, it spread to both X and Reddit, garnering thousands of additional questions, comments, and inquiries.
"Had an ex that would look at me blankly when I said something like this, your soul dies a little each time the vulnerable bid for connection is denied," wrote @laurenancona on X.
"When people say, 'oh nothing happened we just stopped loving each other' this is what they’re talking about," wrote @seerutkchawla. "This is how relationships die a quiet death."
Some users believed the video to be a scripted fake, while others weren't surprised by the negative, passive-aggressive exchange. Still others called for Thomas to get help, and that she was being disrespectful to her emotionally vulnerable husband.
One Instagram user commented, "Disrespectfully, you're the problem," with that comment garnering over 23,000 likes.
Who are Cindy Thomas and Dan Burrell?
The couple—who married just months before their controversial post in Solis, California—describe themselves on Instagram as "authors, lovers and creators" and have co-authored a book titled Finding Your Chairs: A New Approach to Communication. The two also have a YouTube channel where they co-host and produce a podcast and share videos from their shared life.
Thomas and Burrell respond to 'Wiregate'
On Dec. 20, Cindy Thomas posted a response to what she called "Wiregate" on the couple's TikTok and Instagram accounts. Holding the spool, Thomas explained that the response to the couples' original video had been "interesting to say the least."
In the reaction video—which garnered over 84,000 views—Thomas says the couple has a "unique" relationship and that "we play a lot." Thomas also asserted to her followers that "Dan is fine," and that she, "bought him an early Christmas gift and I think you all will be very interested in what it is."
@cindyanddanfyc ???????????? #fyc #danandcindy #share #new #findingyourchairs #post #wiregate #couple #fyp #muchlove ♬ original sound - Cindy Thomas & Dan Burrell
On Dec. 21, another video was posted on the couples' TikTok and Instagram, this time featuring Burrell's response to their online attention. In the second video, Burrell denies that the video was scripted, and adds that he "blindsided" his wife when he asked her to come out and film him.
"I asked her to come out and film this because I had this feeling that I just wanted to put this on something, and I did." Adding that his wife is the most "loving, amazing person I've ever had," and that "our communication is incredible."
@cindyanddanfyc What a beautiful gift we have to REFLECT. We believe #Wiregate is an opportunity for vulnerability! #fyc #danandcindy #share #new #findingyourchairs #post #wiregate #couple #love #post #beginning #love #happy #change ♬ original sound - Cindy Thomas & Dan Burrell
The post was met with encouragement for Burrell and more criticism towards Thomas, while others appreciated the added information. In reaction to Burrell's post, one follower commented, "We were ready to ride at dawn for Dan."
The Daily Dot has reached out to Thomas and Burrell via direct message on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube. The creators did not immediately respond to the request for comment.
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