A pole vaulter’s penis and a Chinese pigeon spy – the best headlines this year

2024 has been a year of stories which will go down in history.

From Donald Trump winning the US election, to King Charles and Princess Kate announcing their cancer fights, and the Assad regime’s fall in Syria, there have been some momentous occasions this year.

Of course, those major events will have hit the headlines of all major news outlets – but there have been some other stories throughout the year which have drawn attention for different reasons.

From the Olympic pole vaulter who had his gold medal dreams shattered by his penis, to the UK being ‘double-fisted’ by two weather fronts at once, there have been plenty of headlines which gave us all a laugh this year.

Metro is looking back at some of the best headlines from 2024 – from us as well as other UK news outlets – and we want to know which are your favourites, so make sure you vote in our poll.

Metro: ‘Rusty shaft forces Royal Navy to pull out‘

Another classic play on words. In February, as four of the smallest ships in the Royal Navy were preparing to head into the Arctic for a Nato exercise, the fleet’s largest ship, HMS Queen Elizabeth, was forced to pull out due to a ‘rusty propeller’.

The upcoming ‘Steadfast Defender’ Nato exercise is set to be the largest since the Cold War, but the aircraft carrier HMS Queen Elizabeth has been replaced last minute.

Now, the HMS Prince of Wales will succeed the HMS Queen Elizabeth to lead the major exercises which will involve more than 40 vessels.

The Times: ‘French spies claim immunity to honeytraps as their wives already know they have affairs‘

A French television series released this year, The Bureau, captivated audiences around the world as it told the tale of a French spy’s entanglement with a Syrian woman.

It gained even more coverage after it was reported that real French spies said even though they do ‘indulge in liaisons in foreign lands, there is no danger of them being embarrassed by romantic entanglements’.

The Times reported: ‘They maintain that they are not susceptible to blackmail or honeytraps because their wives tolerate or turn a blind eye to their affairs.’

Very French.

Sky News: ‘Pigeon suspected of being Chinese spy released by police in India after being detained for eight months‘

Indian authorities were alarmed when they found a pigeon this year with two rings tied to its legs which had ‘Chinese’ characters written on them.

They feared the pigeon was a spy and ‘arrested’ the bird before it was later found that the bird was an open-water racing pigeon from Taiwan that managed to fly to India.

Metro: ‘Pole vaulter’s Olympic dream shattered by his own penis’

French Pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati saw his Olympic dream go up in smoke in unfortunate circumstances with his penis causing his downfall.

The 21-year-old, competing in front of his home crowd, looked all set to clear 5.70m and take a major step towards the final of his event, before disaster struck.

As the Frenchman prepared to relinquish his pole, his own manhood grazed the bar with enough force to send it crashing to the floor, thus ending his hopes of a medal.

Ammirati had already cleared two heights before his bulge brought a premature end to his competition. He eventually finished 12th with a height of 5.60 in Group A.

The New York Times: ‘Welsh Tidy Mouse’ Tidies Tiny Welsh House’

75-year-old Rodney Holbrook was confused when he woke up each morning to see small items he left on his workbench placed in a small box nearby.

Curiosity got the best of Mr Holbrook, who set up a camera in the shed and found a mouse was tidying up his shed in Wales.

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