Santa Confirms Everyone Getting Bag Of Glitter Labeled ‘Fairy Dust’ His Sister-In-Law Sells On Etsy
LAS VEGAS—Stressing how much it meant to Mrs. Claus’ sister to be included for the first time in the family business, Santa Claus confirmed Monday that as their present this year, all children would be receiving one of the bags of glitter labeled “fairy dust” that his sister-in-law sells on Etsy. “We’re excited that on Christmas morning good little boys and girls all over the world will reach into their stockings and find a hand-embroidered pouch filled with pure holiday magic,” Santa said of the bags that contain approximately 1.5 ounces of glitter and sell for $29.99 plus shipping on the e-commerce site. “While this may not be what they asked for in the letters they sent me at the North Pole, children on Santa’s ‘nice’ list surely know the importance of being thankful for what they are given! They should remember to be polite too, because Mrs. Claus says her sister has been going through a hard time lately and could really use our support. Ho, ho, ho!” Santa went on to state that Christmas would come a little late this year, as his sister-in-law needed more time to make enough bags for all the children on Santa’s route, having completed only 20 so far.
The post Santa Confirms Everyone Getting Bag Of Glitter Labeled ‘Fairy Dust’ His Sister-In-Law Sells On Etsy appeared first on The Onion.