I want my new relationship to work but I’ll have to move away from my kids
DEAR DEIDRE: IF I want my new relationship to work, I am going to have to move 250 miles away from my children.
I am 41 and my girlfriend is 38. We have known one another since our teens.
We dated for a little while back then, but gradually drifted apart.
Six months ago, we met again after I looked her up on Facebook.
I discovered that, like me, she is divorced and has two children.
To start with, we took things slowly, but got on so well.
We have introduced the children to each other and our families, too.
We are desperate to start a new life together, but that would mean I would have to move so far away from my children.
I love them so much and I know it would hurt me not to see them regularly.
At the moment, I have them every other weekend and a couple of days in the week. They are 13 and 11.
All my friends tell me I deserve to be happy and that my children will one day grow up and not need me so much. I know this is true, but I still have reservations.
Do I take the plunge or exist in a long-distance relationship, which neither of us wants?
DEIDRE SAYS: You dated in the past but are different people now.
Your relationship is relatively new, so please don’t make any rash decisions about the future which will disrupt your children’s lives until you are certain that this is right for you.
It would be a huge wrench for your kids if you ended up living so far away, especially as you would be moving in with a ready-made family.
You would become a dad they only see now and again and this is likely to affect them badly.
Find understanding guidance with Families Need Fathers (fnf.org.uk, 0300 0300 363).
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