Someone in Chicago looks back at advice given in 2024
When I'm stressed about turning in tough writing assignments, my mom suggests: "Why don't you turn in two, and see which one your boss likes more?"
Great idea. But that's not really encouraged in journalism. From serious government reporting to fun entertainment features, you ought to get it right the first time, stand by your words and feel good with the story living forever in the archives.
When it comes to giving advice — as I do on Sundays — I realized those printed words (for better or for worse) have kept me accountable as the person who tells Chicago the "best way" to overcome inconveniences and conflict. Don't let my little brother catch me walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk. I even annoy myself when I remember to be mature when one of my best friends befriends someone I don’t like.
As 2024 draws to a close, I thought I would be honest with you about what advice I found hard to follow myself, what topic helped me become a more understanding person, and how a reader overcame a problem after coming to me for advice. Was I at all helpful?
Getting past a loved one’s politics
In a column published Nov. 3, the week of the presidential election, I suggested "in order to maintain peace with those we love, we have to face things that make us uncomfortable and try our best to work it out." And girl — did I have to face something uncomfortable.
In the weeks following the election, I realized I was the loudmouth political person my family started to grow sick of.
I knew I was pushing it with my big brother in the group chat. But one day my little brother got home and essentially said, "Mom called and complained you talked her ear off about immigration for half an hour."
It was like complaining about a smell all day and finding out it was you all along.
In this situation, I realized (while it wasn't easy) the best way for me to keep the peace with my family was to shut up.
Strong feelings about suicide
I liked this submission because it was raw and honest. A friend was MAD after losing two friends to suicide. That's real.
But it also had an assumption many of us grew up believing: that suicide was selfish and very much a choice.
After learning about "suicide loss survivors" and learning about the "suicidal trance," I ended the column saying: "... go ahead and feel angry. But for the sake of you and your lost friends, I hope you eventually find a way to transform that anger into compassion."
A Chicago mother who recently lost a child to suicide reached out to me the week after this column published. She said she found the information very helpful as she tried to come to terms with the tragedy.
Conquering the picky eater
I have a lot of opinions, but I understand when I might not be the best source. When that's the case, I go to experts, like when an Oak Park mom said she was struggling with her picky-eating toddler.
A speech pathologist said: "Try and keep eating as positive as possible. Even if it seems like it’s a really, really bad day.”
I reached out to see how the mom and son were doing, and this is what she said:
"After writing the question and reading your response, I decided to go about his picky eating in a different way.
"Instead of constantly worrying if he was getting enough variety throughout the day, I was happy that he was at least eating something. When I stopped stressing, I noticed he started showing interest in different foods. [Before,] he would just eat peanut butter sandwiches but recently he started exploring new proteins like fish and chicken!"
Write to Someone in Chicago at someoneinchicago@suntimes.com.