Rockin’ around the congressional Christmas tree

"Rockin' around the Christmas tree
At the Christmas party hop" – Brenda Lee

It’s a yuletide tradition on Capitol Hill. 

An annual custom of rockin’ around a congressional Christmas tree, festooned with hundreds of legislative ornaments, Advent appropriations and mistletoe modifications.

A political Polar Express chugs through the halls of Congress nearly every December. It’s always the last piece of legislation huffing out of the congressional station.

WHAT TO EXPECT AS REPUBLICANS TRY TO SALVAGE SPENDING PACKAGE, AVOID GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN

"All aboard!" hollers the conductor.

Get your Noel needs loaded into the baggage car of this train, or it’s going to be left behind.

So, lawmakers decorated their "Christmas tree" in the only way they know how.

That resulted a few days ago in the colossal 1,547-page interim spending bill to avoid a government shutdown.

The sheer scope of the bill was breathtaking.

You want a hippopotamus for Christmas? You surely would have gotten it with this plan.

It wasn’t long until House Republicans pulverized the legislation.

"It's another cram down," fumed Rep. Warren Davidson, R-Ohio, the morning after congressional leaders released the bill. "Here's what you get. ‘Do this or shut the government down.’ So, it's very disappointing."

Rep. Eric Burlison, R-Mo., didn’t gift wrap his criticism.

"It's a total dumpster fire. I think it's garbage," decreed Burlison. "It's shameful that people celebrate DOGE coming, and yet we're going to vote for another billion dollars to be added to the deficit. It's ironic."

Rep. Rich McCormick, R-Ga., mocked his colleagues for talking out of both sides of their mouths when it came to spending.

"We keep on saying we want to take the deficit and the debt seriously. But we keep on voting to increase it. You can't have it both ways," he said. "This is irresponsible."

Rep. Chip Roy, R-Texas, lamented this was business as usual.

"I mean, the swamp is going to swamp, right?" proffered Roy.

THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO WHAT HAPPENED TO THE INTERIM SPENDING BILL

House Speaker Mike Johnson, R-La., said the following in the fall:

"We have broken the Christmas omni. I have no intention of going back to that terrible tradition. There won’t be a Christmas omnibus," Johnson declared Sept. 24. "We won’t do any ‘buses.’"

So, yours truly pressed Johnson about his promise after frustrated Republicans upbraided him during a House GOP Conference meeting.

"You said back in September there would be no more Christmas omnibuses. You were not doing anymore ‘buses,’" I asked. "But how is this not yet another Christmas tree at the holidays?"

"Well, it's not a Christmas tree. It's not an omnibus," responded Johnson.

Johnson is technically right. In appropriations parlance, it’s not a true omnibus — even though outside observers and many lawmakers themselves might colloquially refer to the massive bill as an "omnibus." An omnibus is where Congress gift wraps all 12 individual spending measures into one package. A "minibus" is where a handful of bills are bundled together.

Even so, I reminded Johnson of the opprobrium directed at this legislation.

"They called this cram down. They said it was garbage. Those are your own members calling it that," I noted.

"Well, they haven't even seen it yet," said Johnson, even though the bill materialized the night before. "I’ve got a couple of friends who will say that about any end-of-year funding measure. This is not an omnibus, OK? This is a small CR (continuing resolution) that we've had to add things to that were out of our control."

The legislation was stocked with a hefty price tag to cover the entire cost of the collapsed Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore. A radioactive pay raise for lawmakers. Health care provisions. Language about concert ticket prices. Emergency aid for farmers. And $110 billion to help cover devastation from Hurricanes Helene and Milton.

"It was intended to be, and it was until recent days, a very simple, very clean CR stopgap funding measure to get us into next year when we have a unified government," said Johnson. "But a couple of intervening things have occurred. We had, as we say, acts of God. We had these massive hurricanes."

But then Elon Musk torched the bill. President-elect Trump demanded an immediate debt ceiling increase. Debt limit deals are one of the most complex and contentious issues in Congress. They require weeks if not months of painstaking negotiations.

HOUSE GOP LEADERS SCRAMBLE FOR PLAN B AFTER TRUMP, MUSK LEAD CONSERVATIVE FURY AGAINST SPENDING BILL

This wasn’t as simple as presenting Santa at the mall a wish list of items for Christmas morning.

The bill began bleeding support just hours before the House planned a vote.

But to paraphrase Charles Dickens’ opening line in "A Christmas Carol" about Jacob Marley, "That bill was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever, about that."

Democrats were flabbergasted at outside last-minute ultimatums. Especially since Johnson attended the Army-Navy football game last week with Trump. How could they not have discussed the contours of this bill?

"It was blown up by Elon Musk, who apparently has become the fourth branch of government," Rep. Jamie Raskin, D-Md., scoffed about the bill. "So, who is our leader, (House Minority Leader) Hakeem Jeffries, D-N.Y., supposed to negotiate with? Is it Mike Johnson? Is he the speaker of the House? Or is it Donald Trump? Or is it Elon Musk. Or is it somebody else?"

Johnson and company then prepped a svelte 116-page bill to fund the government. But bipartisan lawmakers roasted that measure faster than chestnuts by an open fire.

Rep. Jared Moskowitz, D-Fla., mocked Republicans for insisting that they adhere to their internal "three-day rule." That allows lawmakers to ponder bills for three days before a vote. Yet Republicans were now racing the new bill to the floor faster than shoppers rushing home with their treasures.

"Have you printed it? How many pages is it? What happened to the 72-hour rule?" mocked Moskowitz.

The bill plummeted to an embarrassing defeat on the House floor. It only scored 174 yeas, punctuated by an eye-popping 38 Republican nays.

"The Democrats just voted to shut down the government," Sen. JD Vance, R-Ohio, the vice president-elect, claimed. "They've asked for a shutdown, and I think that's exactly what they're going to get."

By Friday, there was a third bill. And despite grousing, lawmakers finally passed the legislation. There was no need to go to "Plan Z," popularized in "The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie." The House approved the bill in the early evening. Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., hit the Senate floor late Friday night.

"Democrats and Republicans have just reached an agreement that will allow us to pass the CR tonight before the midnight deadline," said Schumer.

Critics of the third bill might characterize the entire process as a "railroad." But it was an actual railroad that prevented the Senate from passing the bill on time. An unnamed Republican senator placed a hold on nominees to Amtrak's board. But once senators resolved that problem, the Senate finally aligned with the House to prevent the shutdown around 12:45 a.m. ET Saturday, 45 minutes after the midnight deadline.

The slenderized bill included disaster aid and emergency assistance for farmers. But when it came to appropriations, the legislation simply renewed all current funding at present levels. It was definitely not a "Christmas tree." It just kept the government running through March 14. So no holiday crisis.

Merry Christmas.

But beware the Ides of March.