My disability forced me into early retirement, but I consider myself lucky compared with others

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• I have schizophrenia, and I had to stop working full time when I was in my 40s.
• Navigating life with far less income has been a challenge, but it hasn't been insurmountable.
• This article is part of "Milestone Moments," a series about financial planning for major life events.

For many people, early retirement is a big goal — it's the basis of the FIRE movement, which involves extreme saving and frugal living to build up enough of a nest egg to retire as early as your 30s.

Others, though, retire early when they find themselves unable to work because of health issues, not because they were good planners or savers — a dilemma I faced with my schizophrenia. For those of us who can no longer work because of chronic illness or disease, retirement is not a milestone to celebrate but a time of fear, grief, and uncertainty.

I had to leave the workforce in my 40s

In my late 40s, I landed the highest-paying job of my career. I made $52,000 a year (a decent amount at the time) as a marketing coordinator for a retirement community. Earlier in my career, I worked as a social worker, library tech, and marketing coordinator for far less money.

Six months into my new position, the symptoms of my schizophrenia were hindering my job. I was paranoid, and I had some disordered thinking, among other troubling and disorienting symptoms. I could no longer function in an office environment, and I resigned without talking to anyone about accommodations or my diagnosis. I was not open about my mental illness at that time.

After taking some time to regain stability, I tried to go back to work full time. I knew I couldn't handle the demands of my former career, so I tried something new. I got a job as a warehouse worker. It lasted less than three hours. I was left feeling so paranoid that I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital. Later, I accepted a job as an usher for large theater productions. I lasted less than two weeks before I started having panic attacks that had me leaving my shifts early. I've tried and failed at other jobs since then as well.

I started to believe that there were no "right" jobs for me and that I would be unable to return to the workforce full time. My partner and I have always been good at saving money, but our plan did not account for me leaving the workforce in my late 40s. We weren't financially prepared for this, and I wasn't emotionally or psychologically prepared.

Losing my work meant losing part of my identity

We live in a society where the most common question when meeting someone is, "What do you do?" Most of my identity hung on my career, and much of what we could save depended on my income. If you haven't experienced it, it's hard to imagine reworking your whole budget to accommodate a permanent drop in income that large.

I knew going back to work full time wasn't an option, but I did not want to give up the idea of working. Frankly, it wasn't feasible financially, either. I wanted to contribute to our bills and our future. I took many classes and programs to try to retrain in a field with enough flexibility that I could maneuver through my bad days.

I effectively retired over a decade ago, despite my efforts to keep working. In the years since, though, I have built up many side gigs that I can do from home, like blogging, teaching workshops, and peer support for others with mental illness.

The pandemic made working a side gig from home easier

The pandemic was challenging to live through, but it opened up the doors for a work-from-home model that allowed those of us with a disability to thrive. I've never come close to making the same amount of money I did in my former career. Still, my income pays for our weekly groceries and extras like subscriptions and streaming services.

While having my schizophrenia worsen was a big shock to our finances, we're lucky. Unlike many Americans whose health requires them to go into retirement decades early, I have a partner with a stable job and a mortgage payment that is one-third of what rent goes for in the city I live in.

I have stayed persistent, and it has kept us financially stable since I lost the ability to work full time. I don't plan on giving up my side gigs in the foreseeable future, so I'll be making money to contribute to our retirement income long past when I originally planned to retire.