My gym trainer is getting suggestive with me and even gave me a sex toy
DEAR DEIDRE: THE new personal trainer I have is getting full-on and suggestive with me, and I’m not sure if I like it.
I do find him attractive, and we’ve kissed, but he’s married and I’m feeling uncomfortable with how forward he’s being.
I’m 32 and he’s 40.
I got chatting to him at the pub and he told me he’d love to train me every week.
We got on really well during my sessions, and he started confiding in me about his personal life.
He said he was married but he and his wife don’t have sex and sleep in separate rooms.
After a few weeks, we started messaging too, and the chats became more and more flirtatious. I was flattered and played along.
At first, I didn’t think he was serious.
But then I started to feel the sexual tension when he was training me. And one day, we ended up having a passionate kiss.
At the end of our next session, he said he had a gift for me, and handed me a box.
He told me not to open it until I was home alone.
It was a sex toy! I was shocked. That night, he messaged to ask if I liked it, and if I’d used it.
I didn’t know what to say so I said I hadn’t felt like it. Now, I feel awkward about seeing him again.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Even if you were interested in getting involved with this man, he’s being too pushy, which has made you feel uncomfortable.
Add to this the fact that he’s married, and supposedly your professional trainer, both of which raise concerns.
Perhaps you need to be firm with him and say things have gone too far and have to stop.
You’ll feel much more comfortable if you find a new gym or a trainer who isn’t looking to cheat.
My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, should help you have this conversation.
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