I was so lonely I only left house to put the bins out – then Lauren became my pal – how you can help Sun tackle epidemic

FOR six long months, 90-year-old Alfred barely stepped outside his front door.

Since his wife of six decades died eight years earlier, he had lived alone, with no children to visit and just one surviving sibling.

Only when he had to put the bins out or see the doctor did Alfred leave the house. The remainder of the time, he had little contact with the rest of the world.

“I didn’t see anybody for days, weeks, months,” the pensioner, from Wakefield, West Yorks, tells Sun Health.

“Everybody’s working, or seems to be, and there is no such thing as good neighbours.

“I was just left with loneliness.”

After losing her husband of 50 years, Shelagh also went months without leaving home.

The 67-year-old, from Oxfordshire, said the sudden isolation was incredibly traumatic, despite regular contact with her kids and grandchildren.

“I used to go everywhere with my husband,” she says. “He was my support, my rock. I didn’t want to go out. I was just steeped in this grief, and I felt I couldn’t.”

Alfred and Shelagh are not alone. Millions more like them face the cruel reality of the nation’s loneliness epidemic.

When isolation persists, it can have a devastating effect on a person’s quality of life, wellbeing and mental health.

In fact, it can quite literally be deadly — if not directly, then by raising the risk of severe health problems.

Heart disease, stroke, depression and dementia are all hidden side effects, while studies have shown a link to a higher risk of early death.

Experts now fear that, as Christmas draws closer, and with cuts to the Winter Fuel Allowance, millions of people of all ages will suffer the effects of loneliness.

That’s why The Sun has teamed up with Age UK for our Christmas SOS campaign, asking Sun readers to donate to its fantastic work.

The charity has already turned Alfred and Shelagh’s lives around, and it can do the same for many more.

Alfred was put in touch with Age UK Wakefield’s befriending service by his GP and now enjoys weekly visits from a caring companion.

Meanwhile, Shelagh’s doctor referred her to Age UK Oxfordshire’s bereavement support group, where she met new friends.

Age UK’s report, You Are Not Alone In Feeling Lonely, revealed last week that of those who are often lonely, nine in ten are also unhappy or depressed.

And people on lower incomes are more likely to experience it.

Age UK director Caroline Abrahams said: “We know what works to tackle loneliness. With sustained investment in the right approaches, we can make a positive difference to older people’s lives.

“Donations of money, time and friendship from Sun readers will make a huge difference and help us be there for older people.”

WHAT IS LONELINESS?

MOST of us will experience feeling left out, detached from friends and family and isolated at some point. But is that the same as loneliness?

Jenny Lippiatt, Age UK’s health policy manager, says: “Loneliness doesn’t mean that you don’t have anyone around you.

“It might just mean the content of relationships isn’t what it needs to be in order to meet your needs.

“I think a lot of older people accept, ‘This is it for me now’. And I don’t think the world helps them feel differently.”

Among causes of loneliness are ill health, bereavement, retirement or low income.

THE HEALTH COST

LONELINESS is inextricably linked to ill health. A major 2010 review of scientific evidence found that strong social ties increase the odds of survival by 50 per cent.

Led by researcher Julianne Holt-Lunstad, of Brigham Young University in Utah, it included data from 148 studies and more than 300,000 people and led to the claim “loneliness is as detrimental to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day”.

Jenny says: “If you feel lonely and your mental wellbeing is impacted by that, that can change how you eat, whether it’s overeating or under-eating. You might not want to look after yourself in the same way, exercise or, in extreme cases you might stop taking your medication.

“Things that we know we need to do to keep ourselves healthy become harder when you’re mentally distressed. That has implications for your physical health.”

There is also evidence that, from a physiological perspective, loneliness may harm the workings of the body.

Jenny says: “If you’re stressed for a long time, which loneliness can cause, that can lead to an increase in cortisol and blood pressure, which may explain some of that increased risk of heart disease and stroke, for example.”

The Mental Health Foundation suggests people blame themselves for being lonely.

This, and the stigma, makes it harder for some to admit they are experiencing it.

While meeting people may seem like a “fix”, this can be hard if you have lost your confidence.

DEMENTIA RISK

THE odds of developing dementia are 25 per cent higher if you are lonely, according to Age UK. Causes are likely connected — for example, social isolation, which can overlap with loneliness, is one of 14 risk factors for dementia.

The 2024 Lancet Commission said almost half of dementia cases could be prevented or delayed by measures including lowering cholesterol, healthy eating, staying slim and regular exercise, less boozing and quitting smoking.

They found strong social connections would lead to five fewer cases of dementia per 100 people.

MENTAL HEALTH

“Depression can lead to loneliness and loneliness can lead to depression,” Jenny points out.

Age UK warns that age discrimination means older people with mental health issues are more easily dismissed as “just lonely” when they need proper clinical support.

“Older people might think it’s a normal part of ageing to feel sad,” she adds. However they are just as likely to experience mental health issues as younger people, even if their symptoms differ.

For example, older people with anxiety are more likely to have physical symptoms, Age UK says.

Jenny adds: “It’s important to consult a healthcare professional if you’re persistently lonely and down. Antidepressants aren’t always the answer. Talking therapies and community engagement can help.”

HEART HEALTH

THE stress of isolation can put pressure on the heart — with high blood pressure, heart disease and stroke all linked to loneliness.

A study this year by Harvard TH Chan School of Public Health found that among 12,000 over-50s, those who scored “consistently high” for loneliness had a 56 per cent higher risk of stroke over eight years.

Meanwhile, scientists at Denmark’s Copenhagen University Hospital found lonely patients with ischaemic heart disease, arrhythmia, heart failure or heart valve disease were twice as likely to die from the conditions.

IMMUNITY

ON top of heart problems, dementia and mental health concerns, loneliness may weaken our immune system, studies have suggested.

It could, therefore, leave people more susceptible to infections and disease. John Cacioppo, a leading scientist investigating loneliness based at the University of Chicago, found evidence that it can increase inflammation while driving down antiviral response.

He also discovered evidence in 2015 that loneliness leads to fight or flight stress signalling, reducing the activity of white blood cells, which travel in the blood and fight infections.

A rise in stress hormone cortisol and poor sleep can also suppress immune function over time.

SUPPORT IS AT HAND

ALFRED and Shelagh’s experiences — and new friendships — are testament to the wide-ranging support available from Age UK.

After months of barely seeing another human being, Alfred looks forward to a weekly visit with his befriender, Lauren.

The 33-year-old, who works for a confectionary company, pops in for tea, a chat and to talk about anything he needs help with.

“Lauren’s broken that loneliness for an hour and a half a week and I’m very grateful for it,” he said.

“She’s very friendly and sociable. She puts the kettle on, we have a cup of tea, a few laughs about my olden days and she’s astounded at how life used to be.”

The retired factory worker says Lauren helps him stay connected to the world and has refuelled his determination to improve his mobility.

Shelagh shares Alfred’s new-found optimism after pushing herself to attend monthly bereavement group meetings since January 2023.

As well as catching up in the local café, members have regular walks, pub lunches and other social activities.

Shelagh says: “It got me out of the house and one thing led to another.

“It brought me back into the social world.

“I made friends who I see on quite a regular basis for coffee or lunch.

“I started to do things with my life. Without the group, I think I’d have still been sitting here because I didn’t know how to find a way out.”

WHAT YOU CAN DO

DONATE

MAKE a donation online at ageuk.org.uk/christmassos

Or scan this QR code on your phone to go straight to the site

Or donate by text:

To give £5, text SOS5 to 70507

To give £10, text SOS10 to 70507

VOLUNTEER!

Give the gift of your time by signing up as one of Age UK’s telephone friendship volunteers

Just 20 to 30 minutes a week to chat with an older person who might be in need of company

To find out more go to ageuk.org.uk/volunteer or scan the QR code

SHOP!

Age UK has 250 shops across the country, great places to pick up Christmas presents and support the elderly.

• DONATE at ageuk.org.uk/ChristmasSos         
• NEED HELP? Call Age UK on 0800 169 65 65