After my divorce earlier this year, I'll be spending Thanksgiving alone. I couldn't be happier.
- I got divorced earlier this year, so I'm choosing to be alone this Thanksgiving.
- I'm excited to do exactly what I want on Thanksgiving, including cooking what I like.
- After a difficult and emotional year, I'm embracing my solitude.
Thanksgiving has always been one of my least favorite holidays. As a formerly homeless youth, the holiday's emphasis on family bonding has never appealed to me. I haven't been part of a big family Thanksgiving since I was a little kid.
For most of my adult life, I spent the day with my ex-partner, having a small but elaborate celebration. It was a great way to take back Thanksgiving for me.
But after 19 years together, we unexpectedly got divorced. That means I'll be spending this Thanksgiving alone, and I'm looking forward to it.
I've turned down invites to attend other people's Thanksgiving plans
When friends and acquaintances hear that I intend to spend Thanksgiving alone, they're surprised. People generally assume I'm sad about being alone or have nowhere to spend the holiday with others.
I have options, but I'm choosing my own company. While the idea of someone being alone on this holiday upsets some, I know I will have a better time doing the day my way.
I had some very dysfunctional Thanksgiving holidays growing up, but the worst I remember happened 22 years ago when I was 18. I got invited to an older friend's house. Being included in other people's traditions for the day didn't feel good; it felt exhausting. I regretted going the minute I arrived and immediately wanted to return to my sparse studio apartment. I politely waited through dinner and dessert before I could excuse myself and head home.
The next year, I was 19 and spent Thanksgiving alone, and I had a much better time. I plan to do the same this year.
My new plan for Thanksgiving is only to do the things I enjoy
I lived in NYC for many years, and one of my favorite Thanksgiving holidays was when I went after work to watch the Macy's balloons be inflated. I love watching the balloons and intend to spend Thanksgiving morning on my couch watching them on TV. I have already decorated my house for Christmas, but I still love watching the parade close with Santa ushering in the holiday season officially.
Other than the parade, my favorite part of Thanksgiving is watching the broadcast of the National Dog Show. This year, I don't have to account for anyone's elaborate cooking schedule or timing preferences for the holiday. I'm looking forward to watching the dog show without feeling guilty like I should be in the kitchen helping cook a meal I'm not even invested in eating.
My dogs and I will then go for a walk and complete our American Kennel Club Turkey Trot walk, which benefits junior handlers. I also grew up showing dogs, so this is a small way to give back to a community that represents the happy memories I have from my childhood.
The only other thing I plan to do on Thanksgiving is make pawprint turkey crafts with my dogs.
I'm embracing being alone this Thanksgiving
I've told some close-chosen family members they are welcome to stop by if they want to watch balloons or the dog show with me, but I'm fine if they don't.
Fancy and elaborate meals aren't important to me, so I won't make one. I intend to eat Tofurkey, boxed mac and cheese, and maybe some stuffing. While I eat, I plan to send messages to all my favorite people, making sure they know how grateful I am for them and how much I love them.
This was not an easy year for me; it started with being blindsided by divorce and having to pick up the pieces of my life. That said, the year has, much to my surprise, been pretty great. I love the new life that I am building. My new life is filled with people near and far who see and appreciate me for who I am.
I have so much to be grateful for this year, and one of those things is learning just how much I like my own company.