Conor McGregor’s fiancée has sent the wrong message to her sons

‘My sons will be warned women like you exist in the world’.

I felt chilled when I read this statement. 

It came from Dee Devlin, the long-term partner of UFC fighter Conor McGregor, who last week was ordered to pay €248,000 (£206,000) in damages to Nikita Hand, having been found guilty by the High Court jury of raping Hand in a Dublin hotel in December, 2018.

In a series of Instagram posts aimed at Hand, Devlin asks, ‘What sort of woman are you?’ and claims to know of proof that indicates Hand was the sexual aggressor (she alleges in her Instagram posts to have seen ‘video footage’ which supports McGregor’s case).

Dee Devlin believes in her partner’s innocence. Yet her ominous expression that she will ‘warn’ her sons of ‘women like you’ is not furthering her cause.

Instead, she is perpetuating the dangerous, harmful myth that men are at the mercy of conniving women, and that these women lurk around every corner.

There are few up-to-date statistics available but the CPS lists false allegations of rape as ‘serious but rare’. Analysis from the Ministry of Justice and Home Office suggest that roughly 3% of rape allegations made in 2008-2009 could be false.

A 2013 study carried out over 17 months by the CPS reported 5,651 prosecutions for rape and only 35 for making false allegations.

Moreover, the term ‘false allegations’ can be misleading as the definition of ‘false’ varies amongst police and prosecutors.

While a tiny minority of people do make a malicious complaint, a 2012 report from the Ministry of Justice states that a ‘false’ allegation was declared in instances where the victim was intoxicated, witnesses withdrew, or the person reporting was not visibly harmed. 

By any metric, the stark reality is that false claims of rape and sexual assault are vanishingly rare compared to actual allegations, and they have tangible repercussions for survivors who are courageous enough to pursue a conviction. 

According to ONS data, just 2% of rape cases in England and Wales are successfully prosecuted. It is even harder to make a prosecution for cases in which the evidence comes down to one party’s word against another. 

It is a terrifyingly low statistic that sits in conjunction with the fact that it takes an average of 817 days for a rape case to get to court. 

Where is the incentive for women to come forward, especially against a rich, powerful man, when others like Devlin use a huge public platform (she has 1.8million followers on Instagram) to suggest that boys and men must be ‘warned’ about certain women? 

Having announced the existence of this allegedly exonerating footage, Devlin does not say that McGregor (who she also exemplifies as a happy family man and excellent father) is innocent of causing the bruising to Hand.

An attending paramedic told the court they had not seen ‘someone so bruised’ for a long time. 

Concerningly, Devlin also calls out Hand for going on a ‘3 day bender, texting excuses to her own child at home’. She is presumably referring to the fact that Hand, as her own legal team informed the court, was out to have a ‘good time’.

The double standard here is alarming – there’s no mention that McGregor, who also had children at home, drank and took drugs. And it reinforces the complete fallacy that women who are intoxicated have somehow brought rape or assault upon themselves. 

No woman ever deserves to be raped; they never, ever deserve to be sexually or physically assaulted. Nobody ever deserves it.

Women – and, shock, even mothers! – are entitled to leave their children being cared for at home, go out and drink alcohol. 

And yes! Some women take recreational drugs! There is no ‘type’ of woman who does this, however. 

The idea that a woman and mother who has a social life should also be categorised as reckless, irresponsible and a con-artist is practically Victorian. 

The idea that women put themselves through the trauma and overt abuse that comes with publicly accusing a famous man of a sexual crime is questionable, even laughable. 

As a mother and step-mother of boys, I will not be warning my sons about ‘women like’ Hand. I would never conceive of it.

Instead, I tell my boys how to gain, and act with, consent. What consent looks like. That they should respect women. That they should not hurt women, or anyone, frankly, something my three-year-old already understands.

Conversations with our eight-year-old are open and direct. With our younger son, I do a lot of modelling, asking him if it’s OK beforehand if I touch him, telling him if he touches me somewhere I don’t like, and using anatomically correct words for genitalia.

You may think that sounds too-woke-to-be true. 

I, too, am incredulous that we have to teach boys and men that sexual assault is harmful, degrading and illegal, but here we are.

If you want to warn the men in your life of anything, it should be that women are increasingly refusing to accept rape and sexual assault as part of life. 

We are refusing to be shamed, derided, attacked or counter-accused into silence – by anyone. 

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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