I’m set on revenge after another man ruined things with me and my perfect woman
DEAR DEIDRE: ANOTHER man destroyed my relationship with my perfect woman and, now it’s over, I’m out for revenge.
I was caught in a love triangle and I was always second best. He might have got the prize – her, but now, I want him to pay.
I’m 32 and my ex is 28. The other guy is 34.
I met her online, three years ago, and fell hard. She was gorgeous, interesting, and incredible in bed.
But it soon became clear that I wasn’t the only guy she was seeing – and that’s why she couldn’t commit.
She’d tell me ‘It’s not the right time’ or ‘One day soon,’ whenever I asked when we could be together properly.
Sometimes, she’d disappear for weeks or even months and, as soon as I started to get over her, a message would pop up on my phone saying ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you”.
It wouldn’t take long before I was back in her arms.
When I asked her why she couldn’t be with just me, she told me she had known the other guy for many years, and couldn’t let him go, even though he didn’t treat her properly.
I realised I was her plan B when things weren’t going well with her plan A – him.
She said she loved us both, but that wasn’t enough for me. I knew I couldn’t wait for her forever.
Finally, I got the courage to end it and block her everywhere, even though it nearly killed me.
Whenever I think about him, I feel furious and that I want to punch him.
I’ve started sending him anonymous messages to hurt him, telling him to watch his back.
I know it’s wrong and stupid but I need to get my anger out and make the pain go away.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You did the right thing by blocking your ex.
But you’re still unable to move on and are now harassing the other guy.
I don’t need to tell you this is not wise and that you could find yourself in trouble with the law.
Neither will it win her back, or make you feel happier.
She’s the one who hurt you. Not him.
You deserve happiness and to be with someone who puts you first.
My support pack, Moving On, might help you to get over her.
The one on Addictive Love might also be helpful, as it describes the type of toxic relationship you were in.
If things don’t improve, think about having counselling.
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