I was horrified when my neighbour ripped apart my late husband’s garden
DEAR DEIDRE: RETURNING from visiting my grandchildren recently, I was horrified to find my neighbour had hacked down all the mature bushes and shrubs my late husband had planted in my garden.
Now it feels like I can’t relax in my home any more.
I’m 62. My husband was a very keen gardener and after his death five years ago, I didn’t have the heart to use the garden much and it slowly turned into a bit of a wilderness.
He had planted bushes all along the fence between us and next door, and they shot up, but I didn’t think anyone minded. I liked the privacy as our neighbours have young kids and can be quite loud.
When I returned from seeing my family, all the bushes had gone. It was just the bare, ugly fence along the side.
I checked my video doorbell and saw my neighbour had come into my garden and attacked the hedges with a chainsaw while I was away.
He didn’t stop to consider my feelings, he just strolled in.
He must think I’m so weak-willed that he can walk all over me.
I feel violated. I’m scared of confrontation, so I have said nothing. Now I’m too fearful to leave the house.
My son says I should complain, but I’m worried it’ll cause tension if I do.
My anxiety is through the roof. With every noise I assume my neighbour is creeping around with the chainsaw.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Neighbourly disputes are very stressful. You might feel you’re “weak-willed” but I understand why you haven’t confronted your neighbour.
As a woman in her 60s living alone, you probably feel quite vulnerable.
You no doubt imagined you would be able to rely on your neighbours if you ever needed them, but instead they invaded your space when you went away.
This could be classed as criminal damage and trespass. Your neighbour is entitled to cut down overhanging branches on their side of the boundary wall, but destroying your mature shrubs and bushes is another matter.
If you don’t want them to continue to take advantage, you need to take a stand.
Getting legal advice would be a sensible first move. You can get free advice through Citizens Advice. For your local branch, see citizensadvice.org.uk.
I am also sending you my support pack Nuisance Neighbours, which should help.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:
deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk