Ghosting, not just for dating, is hindering commercial real estate, too

Ghosting — a term that started in the dating world to describe someone disappearing without a word — has found its way into modern professional life, including commercial real estate.

It’s the unsettling silence that comes from one party simply vanishing at a critical moment in a deal.

In an industry where every day counts and trust is often painfully built, ghosting is more than a nuisance. It’s a serious disruptor that can jeopardize timelines, impact finances and strain relationships.

When you’re working through a commercial real estate deal, you expect a level of mutual respect and communication. Agreements are crafted, terms are negotiated and timelines are meticulously planned. But, as many of us have experienced, there’s a disconcerting moment when a response just doesn’t come.

A potential buyer, a key decision-maker, or even an adviser might fall silent for days, sometimes weeks, without any warning. The questions flood in: Did they lose interest? Did they find another property? Is there a hidden issue no one wants to address?

Ghosting can happen for many reasons, and not all of them are sinister.

Maybe an interested buyer hit a financing snag they’re trying to resolve before responding. Sometimes a corporate decision must clear so many hurdles that communication lags. But regardless of the reason, the effect on a deal is the same — stalled progress, disrupted timelines, and a nagging sense of uncertainty.

The cost of silence

Imagine you’re representing a seller with a high-stakes property on the market. An interested buyer makes a compelling offer, and there’s enthusiasm on both sides to move forward. The offer gets accepted, and everyone dives into due diligence, ticking off boxes and anticipating a smooth closing.

Then, suddenly — silence. Days pass, deadlines inch closer but the buyer is unreachable. Calls go unanswered, emails seem to vanish into thin air, and the seller’s growing anxious.

In this scenario, the financial cost of ghosting becomes real. The seller has tied up their property, potentially missed out on other offers, and invested in preliminary due diligence expenses.

Every day of delay can mean mounting holding costs, from taxes and utilities to interest payments. Meanwhile, the buyer’s silence also affects the broker or advisor, who’s invested considerable time and effort into moving the transaction forward. At some point, the team must ask: Do we wait? Do we move on?

Why it happens

Interestingly, ghosting often reflects uncertainty or fear of commitment from one party. In commercial real estate, deals can be complex and daunting, especially when significant capital or corporate decision-making layers are involved. Buyers may ghost if they’ve suddenly discovered an unanticipated financial issue or if internal stakeholders are pushing back on the decision. On the flip side, sellers or landlords may go quiet if they’re holding out for a better offer, although they’re generally less likely to ghost if a strong prospect is at hand.

Another driving factor in today’s market is analysis paralysis. With economic conditions fluctuating, especially in markets like Southern California, many buyers and sellers find themselves hesitant, double-checking every calculation, unsure if they’re making the right move at the right time. The result? Radio silence.

Mitigating the ghosting effect

So, what can you do? If you’re on the receiving end of ghosting in a commercial real estate deal, you’re likely juggling frustration, uncertainty, and an increasing sense of lost time. But there are ways to reduce the chances of ghosting derailing your progress:

Set clear expectations upfront: Establish communication expectations with all parties from day one. Agree on timelines for responses and stick to them as closely as possible. Having this protocol in place can prevent misunderstandings about how and when information will be shared.

Stay proactive in communication: If there’s radio silence, reach out sooner rather than later. Sometimes a friendly nudge, like a quick call or email, is all that’s needed to reengage a hesitant party. Don’t be afraid to ask directly if circumstances have changed.

Build in backup plans: Avoid tying all hopes for one deal. Especially in today’s market, staying flexible and having backup options can prevent total disruption if a deal goes quiet. Cultivate relationships with other potential buyers or sellers to avoid putting all your eggs in one basket.

Understand motivations: Knowing what drives the other party can help you read between the lines if communication slows. Are they facing financial stress? A strict timeline? Sometimes the silence isn’t personal—it’s situational.

Final thoughts

Ghosting in commercial real estate is more than a minor inconvenience; it’s a reflection of the challenges of modern deal-making. From the Inland Empire’s logistics hubs to high-demand sites throughout Southern California, every transaction depends on clear communication, trust, and reliability. While ghosting may be here to stay, being aware of its impact and taking proactive steps can reduce the haunting effects of silence. After all, in real estate, no one wants to be left in the dark.

Allen C. Buchanan, SIOR, is a principal with Lee & Associates Commercial Real Estate Services in Orange. He can be reached at abuchanan@lee-associates.com or 714.564.7104.