I know keeping some savings in cash doesn't make the most mathematical sense, but it's the only thing that helps me feel safe

The offers and details on this page may have updated or changed since the time of publication. See our article on Business Insider for current information.

Affiliate links for the products on this page are from partners that compensate us and terms apply to offers listed (see our advertiser disclosure with our list of partners for more details). However, our opinions are our own. See how we rate banking products to write unbiased product reviews.

• Even though I have a savings account, I feel better having part of my savings in cash.
• Financial coach Natasha Knox, CFP helped me realize that I don't trust banks.
• Financial planners advise keeping money in a bank account for safety reasons, and to take advantage of interest rates.

Because I experienced so much financial instability in my early 20s, I work hard every single day on building a healthy relationship with money. No one really talks about how demoralizing it is to scrounge up quarters from your couch so you can afford a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich at the bodega.

Even though my days of struggling financially are behind me, it's hard to shake the scarcity mindset that helped me survive that time. A scarcity mindset starts with feeling like there isn't enough money or resources to survive, but it slowly morphs into a belief that I am not enough and not worthy of surviving.

To combat these negative thoughts, I developed some weird but helpful money habits that might make a financial advisor's head spin. I still get scared that I'm going to end up in the same financial situation — it's not impossible! — but keeping part of my savings in cash makes me feel safe.

I keep cash savings to help me heal from financial trauma

In my brokest days, I'd take the aforementioned bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich in the bodega, split it in four parts, and eat it little by little to get me through the day. I was too proud to ask for help, but sometimes my mom or my friends would come by with groceries or leftover food to get me through it.

Keeping some of my savings in cash, where I can see it and hold it in my hands, helps me remember that I'm in a different place now.

I started keeping a gratitude jar to get me through those hard times. I'd cut small pieces of paper and set them next to an empty jar — an old candle, old Tupperware, a water bottle cut in half, any empty container would do. Every night before going to bed, I'd write down one thing I was thankful for that day and put it in the jar. When I had extra cash from gigs, gifts, or a friend paying me back for dinner in cash, I started to stash it at the bottom of my gratitude jar.

This way, if I need to reach for emergency funds, I also have to open joyful, handwritten notes that remind me that hard situations are only temporary.

Now that I have a stable income, I automatically transfer a portion of my paycheck into a savings account. I've never really been able to maintain a savings account before, so it's rewarding to watch it grow, but I still get nervous and keep cash reserves.

I keep part of my savings in cash because I don't trust banks

Financial planner Natasha Knox started her own financial coaching business, Alaphia, to help her clients spend their money in alignment with their personal values. I reached out to her to get her thoughts on my compulsive cash-hoarding habit.

When she asked me, "What is your relationship to the banking system?" I started sweating. 

In the past, I was sued by a credit card company. Debt collectors can sue you if you miss many payments in a row, and I missed 29 payments on four different credit cards when I was going through financial hardship. 

My debt collection lawsuit is now settled, but if the court had ruled against me, debt collectors would have been allowed to levy my bank accounts. A bank account levy legally allows a debt collector to take funds from any bank account under your name without warning — which is truly terrifying.

While I was going through the lawsuit, I hesitated to keep money in my account. Now that I'm in a more financially stable place, I still don't trust banks to take care of all my money.

"You're not alone," she reminded me. "It's pretty obvious why you would have that reluctance to have your money sitting in a bank account."

When experts recommend saving cash, they don't mean literal cash

Just because it's clear why I do this doesn't make it the right move for others.

"It's a good practice to have three to six months of living expenses in cash," Knox explains. "And when we say cash, we don't mean literal cash. We just mean sitting in a bank account that you can easily access." 

Knox asked me to name what felt good about my cash-hoarding habit, and one word kept creeping back into our conversation: vagueness.

Because I don't really count the coins or small bills that I stash, I can't obsessively track my progress like I would with my digital savings account. There's something about that vagueness that makes me feel wealthy and abundant.

Keeping cash on hand is also something I do for the younger version of myself who was looking for surprise money to buy that sandwich from the bodega.

While it's perfectly fine to keep cash on hand, I now realize that there are safer and more profitable places to keep my money that can give me the same satisfaction of vagueness. For example, I don't know the exact dollar amount of my bimonthly 401(k) contribution, but I do know that it will accumulate compounding interest that will serve me in the future.

To be honest, I don't think I'll change my cash-hoarding habit overnight, but I'm glad I can add joyful notes about my 401(k) contributions and digital savings account to my gratitude jar.

This story was originally published in December 2021.