I went through menopause at 14 – doctors told me I was ‘too young’ but I had to live in shame for years

A WOMAN who went through menopause when she was just 14 years old is urging others to never assume they’re too young.

Hayley Brookes, now 43, received the devastating diagnosis she was going through early menopause when she was barely a teenager.

It meant she knew from a young age she would never be able to have children naturally.

As a menopause advocate, she’s now campaigning to raise awareness of premature ovarian failure – when a woman’s ovaries stop working normally before she is 40 – and believes doctors need more education to stop other women facing it alone.

Hayley, from London said too many women of all ages are having their menopausal symptoms dismissed.

She said: “Menopause has no set age and yet some doctors are still saying you’re too young for menopause instead of taking it seriously and offering the support and care women deserve.

“It can happen in your teens, in your twenties, thirties and older.”

Hayley’s period started when she was 12, but after a year, they stopped.

She said she suffered from severe night sweats, hot flushes and insomnia, and found concentrating at school almost impossible.

Hayley shared: “I kept telling my mum I felt weird, but I couldn’t explain why. 

“I kept saying, I just don’t feel like myself.”

Hayley’s doctor requested blood tests and weeks later an ultrasound revealed not only did she have one ovary, but that ovary was eggless.

At a very young age, Hayley was told she would never be able to conceive naturally.

She was put on HRT, but despite her quick diagnosis, she wasn’t given long-term care.

Due to her dose being too low, she suffered for more than twenty years.

She said: “I suffered with every menopause symptom and lived for years with the shame and embarrassment of my diagnosis.

“I just wanted to fit in and be like other girls my age.”

Now married, Hayley said her teenage diagnosis left her feeling inadequate and her mental health was severely affected.

A few years ago, she decided to speak out about her experience and help other women battling early menopause.

Hayley said: “I want to help raise awareness to women, but also to warn mothers that it may be happening to their teenage daughter instead of them and to look out for the signs as it’s a life changing diagnosis at an early age.

I suffered with every menopause symptom and lived for years with the shame and embarrassment of my diagnosis

Hayley Brookes

“When my friends were having their children, I realised just how different my life was.

“I knew I wanted a family, but I’d felt like a failure a lot of my life, I didn’t want IVF to fail and my body had been through enough.”

Hayley is now a stay-at-home mum to a four-year-old boy, after adopting her son when she turned 40.

Her diagnosis has since been renamed to premature ovarian insufficiency, but she believes that gives false hope to women and more research needs to be done by health professionals.

She said: “Sadly, many women are not being taken seriously.

“Educating and advocating for yourself is extremely important and it makes me sad that there are teenage girls sitting at school right now going through what I did.

“Doctors have such little training on menopause and teachers need to understand it too.

“Menopause is now in the national curriculum, it’s being taught in secondary schools and that’s a big step because normalising these conversations will help younger girls so much by realising they are not alone.”

Doctors have such little training on menopause and teachers need to understand it too.

Hayley Brookes

Hayley added: “We must be the generation to make these essential changes to research and education because this is costing women their health and wellbeing, their careers and their relationships but it is also costing the NHS.

“Better education would result in quicker diagnosis, fewer GP appointments and onward referrals and huge time and money savings for the NHS.

“Women also need to be better supported in the workplace.

“Studies show that women have very little support – some are forced to give up work altogether as a result of their symptoms.

“Supporting women to remain at work by implementing a few simple adjustments is common sense.

“Government and business need to recognise that menopause guidance in every workplace is a win-win situation.”

Through campaigning for #MakeMenopauseMatter, Hayley has made many friends in the menopause community.

She said: “I have found the most supportive community of ladies and for once in my life I no longer feel alone anymore.

“I don’t want other women to feel alone and will do everything I can to make menopause matter.”