My mum thinks my husband married the wrong sister – I constantly feel like their third wheel
A 29-YEAR-OLD woman was left outraged when her mum joked that her husband should’ve married her sister instead.
She confessed to already feeling like a “third wheel” because her husband James and sister Fran, both 34, have a “special bond” from their childhood friendship.
The wife revealed in a lengthy Reddit post that her family grew up living next door to James.
He had a crush on her “very smart and beautiful” sister as a teenager but was rejected when he asked her to prom.
James and Fran remained friends when he moved away for college as he would come back for the holidays.
However, his now-wife was never included in their hangouts because she was younger.
“I went to a good college and got my first job in the same city as James,” she said.
“My mum suggested I should contact James since I did not know anyone there.
“We became friends and 3 years later, we got married. We both have high-paying jobs and love our life.
“We moved back to our hometown during Covid as James’s mum had health issues, and our jobs allowed us to work remotely.”
She said her sister had a “pretty good life” until she discovered that her husband had been cheating with multiple partners.
Since they ended their marriage, Fran has been living with their mum and struggling financially.
“James and I were very supportive of her during the whole process,” the wife said.
“Since James and Fran were friends growing up, they both have a special bond. They have their inside jokes and stories, and I sometimes feel like a third wheel when we all meet.”
She said James has never given her a reason to believe there is anything more than friendship between him and her sister.
However, Fran is “too comfortable” around James and has ignored concerns about her numerous visits to their homes each week and walking around the house in just a towel.
The situation escalated when they were discussing childhood memories at the weekend.
“My mum, jokingly said to her that I wish you had the wits to marry James than your loser husband and you would have not been in this situation,” she said.
“Fran smiled after hearing that and nodded, but I was hurt by the comment.
“I protested to my mum that James is my husband, and I do not want her to make such comments about him.
“My mum doubled down and said that she feels like it because both James and I are high earners, while Fran is struggling.
“So, it would make sense if Fran was married to James, and I would be fine since I do not need James to support me financially. She kept on saying that it was hypothetical, and just wants both her daughters to be happy.”
Signs your relationship is heading for a divorce
- Persistent Communication Breakdowns
Constant misunderstandings, arguments, or a complete lack of meaningful conversation can signal deep-seated issues. - Emotional Distance
Feeling like roommates rather than partners, with a noticeable lack of intimacy or emotional connection. - Frequent Criticism and Contempt
Regularly criticising each other and showing contempt, such as sarcasm, eye-rolling, or mocking, can erode the relationship’s foundation. - Unresolved Conflicts
Recurrent arguments about the same issues without any resolution can indicate deeper incompatibilities. - Loss of Trust
Trust is crucial in any relationship. If it’s been broken and cannot be rebuilt, it may be a sign that the relationship is in trouble. - Different Life Goals
Significant differences in future aspirations, such as career goals, lifestyle choices, or family planning, can create insurmountable divides. - Avoidance
Preferring to spend time apart rather than together, whether through work, hobbies, or social activities, can indicate a desire to escape the relationship. - Lack of Support
Feeling unsupported, whether emotionally, financially, or practically, can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment. - Financial Disagreements
Constantly arguing about money, spending habits, or financial priorities can strain the relationship. - Infidelity
Whether physical or emotional, infidelity can be a major breach of trust and a sign of deeper issues in the relationship. - Changes in Affection
A noticeable decrease in affection, physical touch, or romantic gestures can indicate a loss of connection.
The wife said she stormed out when her sister accused her of being “too sensitive” about their mum’s comments, while James said it was a “harmless joke.”
“I’m just feeling really bad since the situation and despite everyone apologising to me, things just don’t feel right,” she said.
“Am I wrong here in reacting the way I did, or does everyone else have a point, and I should be more secure about my relationship with James?”
A flood of responses to the post urged the woman to speak to her husband and to keep a distance from her sister.
One person said her sister is “disrespecting” the boundaries of their relationship and her husband should be doing more to stop it.
“This whole thing gives me the ick,” another wrote. “It’s like he couldn’t have Fran, so he settled for you instead to be close to her.
“I find their interactions with each other extremely inappropriate and if it were me, I’d be going no contact with both my sister and my mum.”
A third commenter warned that her husband and sister will have an affair if the situation doesn’t change.
“You need to nip this in the bud before you walk in one day and find them in your bed. No more dropping by whenever she feels like it,” they said.
“No more sleepovers. And set some clear boundaries for him. He doesn’t get to say he doesn’t want to be in the middle.
“He is married to YOU and owes you loyalty and respect.
“You need to get a backbone and go thermal nuclear on ole Fran. Do not allow these three people to walk all over you.”