I found out about my dad’s affair when I accidentally named my baby after his mistress – I refuse to change it

A 26-YEAR-OLD mum has refused to change her baby girl’s name despite her family’s outrage.

She and her husband decided to call their daughter “Annabelle” in tribute to his grandmother who helped to raise him.

The woman said she was unaware of the drama that keeping the name secret until she gave birth would cause.

“My mum and dad were in the room when I gave birth and when it was time for me to sign the birth certificate my mum asked for the name and I told her Annabelle,” she said on Reddit. 

“Her face went pale and my dad didn’t look too happy but he said he loved the name.

“My mum left a few minutes later claiming she didn’t feel well. She said she’ll come over in a few days to help with the baby.”

The woman said her mum suddenly became distant despite usually talking every day.

She invited her sister Emily to her house to address concerns about their mum’s sudden change in behaviour. 

Emily, who still lives at home with their parents, revealed she had overheard them arguing that her dad had an affair with a coworker named Annabelle 10 years ago.

While they were still speaking, their dad arrived at the house and confessed to the affair for himself. 

He urged that Annabelle’s name be changed because it was putting their mum in a “bad headspace.”

“My dad begged and pleaded for me to change it, saying mum was in the middle of packing her bags and heading to her sister’s house,” she said.

“I told him I won’t change her name and that it means so much to me and my husband.

“He began to raise his voice and immediately my sister yelled back and told him to get the hell out.”

The new mum said her dad left immediately after being warned not to stress her out.

“I’m not changing my baby’s name but I feel like this is tearing the family apart. What should I do?” she said.

A flood of commenters reassured her that she wasn’t being unreasonable by refusing to change her daughter’s name.

However, they warned that it could affect the relationship her mum has with her daughter in the future.

“I understand. You’re NTA [not the a**hole],” one person wrote.

“But it will have consequences. Your mum might not be willing to bond – and there’s no blame! Your dad hurt her badly. 

“Look, the only a**hole here is your dad. But some wounds take time to heal. Can’t you agree on a nickname like Anna or Belle?”

Another commenter suggested that the mum should swap her daughter’s first and middle name. 

“Your dad is the AH [a**hole],” they said. “But the question you have to ask yourself is whether you want your mum to feel pained every time she hears her granddaughter’s name. 

“If the answer is no I would consider making it her middle name, but that’s entirely up to you! It’s just a bad situation all around.”

A third person described the situation as “tough” and advised the woman to speak to her mum before making a final decision.

“You have every right to use that name, especially with the family connection. But. You may end up regretting it,” they said.

“Down the line, if your mum and dad aren’t involved in your child’s life like you wanted them to be, you may look back and wish you had made a different choice.

“But who knows? Maybe your mum will move past her feelings and this isn’t even an issue that lasts and she takes to being an involved grandma.”

The commenter added that any issues in her mum and dad’s relationship aren’t her fault. 

“Talk to your mum,” they said. “You don’t need to go into the conversation with the intention to change the baby’s name, but it would be helpful to hear what she has to say.

“As for your dad, this is on him 100%. If your mum leaves him, it’s because he had an affair, not because of a baby name. 

“He needs to take accountability for his choices and work on fixing his relationships.”