Emily Atack says past drunken sexual encounters were rape because she didn’t say yes – as she campaigns to change law
EMILY Atack has said a number of her past drunken sexual encounters were rape because she didn’t remember doing it or saying yes.
The new mum, 34, made the shock admission while chatting to Jamie Laing – as she called for men to stop “getting away” with having sex with drunk women.
Emily is now fronting an ‘affirmative consent’ campaign, which seeks to change the law so that “the two parties that are involved in the sexual act have to confirm that they want to go ahead with it.”
Speaking on the Great Company podcast, the Rivals star reflected on her own experiences in the bedroom and said she had woken up “so many times” after sex realising she hadn’t agreed to it.
She also admitted she can count on one hand the times she’s enjoyed sex.
The Inbetweeners actor said: “My situations have only been uncomfortable – yeah, literally.
“Honestly, I can only count on one hand probably where I’ve actually enjoyed sex.
“Growing up, I’m sorry, as a teenager it was awful. There were no barriers, there were no boundaries.
“Boys didn’t know how to be with girls, girls didn’t know how to deal with those situations. It was a mess.
“I went through life thinking if you wake up after a night out and something has happened but you don’t really remember it, you just have to suck it up and get on with it.”
She continued: “It’s like there’s no way anyone’s going to….it’s just not worth going down that road of ‘but I don’t remember, I don’t remember any of that’.
“Yeah, awful, I’ve woken up so many times and been like ‘I definitely didn’t say yes to that’.”
Asked by Jamie if it had made her feel shameful, upset, or angry, she said: “Yeah, you do, but it’s been so repressed for so long, we were taught for such a long time that that was kind of a normal way to have sex – that you wake up after a party and go ‘Ooh, Jesus Christ, I don’t really remember that, anyway’. And then you just kind of carry on.
“We’re taught that that was like normal.”
“The problem is now, now we’re all having the conversation more, people are coming out and going ‘Oh right, well, I was raped then’. And it’s very difficult to have to admit it to you.”
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She went on: “But also the reason why it’s difficult as well for the men, men are getting angry because they’re scared, because so many men will listen to this sort of thing and go ‘I’ve done that before’.
“There’ll be men that are getting their kids uniform ready for school and they will listen to something like this and stop in their tracks and go ‘Oh f**k, I’ve done that before’.
“And they probably regret it and feel really terrible about it, but to be told now that that was wrong, and that actually that’s now seen as rape, that’s hard for people to digest because they know that they’ve done that somewhere in their lives a lot of people, loads of people.
“That’s why it’s so difficult to go there.”
Help after rape and sexual assault
If you’ve been sexually assaulted it’s important to remember that it was not your fault. Sexual violence is a crime, no matter who commits it or where it happens. Don’t be afraid to get help.
There are services that can help if you’ve been sexually assaulted, raped or abused.
You don’t have to report the assault to the police if you don’t want to. You may need time to think about what has happened to you.
But you should get medical help for any injuries and because you may be at risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections (STIs). If you want the crime to be investigated, it’s best to have a forensic medical examination as soon as possible.
Try not to wash or change your clothes immediately after a sexual assault. This may destroy forensic evidence that could be important if you decide to report the assault to the police (although you can still go to the police even if you have washed).
Where to get help
Sexual assault referral centres (SARCs) offer medical, practical and emotional support to anyone who has been raped, sexually assaulted or abused. SARCs have specially trained doctors, nurses and support workers to care for you.
Other places you can get help include:
- a doctor or practice nurse at your GP surgery
- a voluntary organisation, such as Rape Crisis, Women’s Aid, Victim Support, The Survivors Trust or Male Survivors Partnership
- the 24-hour freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge, on 0808 2000 247
- the rape and sexual abuse support line run by Rape Crisis England and Wales – you can call the helpline on 0808 500 2222 or use the online chat (both are free and are open 24 hours a day, every day of the year)
- a hospital accident and emergency (A&E) department
- a genitourinary medicine (GUM) or sexual health clinic
- a contraceptive clinic
- a young people’s service
- call NHS 111 or get help from 111 online
- the police, or dial 101
- in an emergency, dial 999.