When I discovered my husband was on sex sites, you helped us work it out
DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN I discovered my husband had joined sex sites to look at naked women, he blamed me, saying it was because I didn’t give him enough attention.
He claimed he hadn’t met up with anyone for sex, but I didn’t believe him.
I’m 45 and he’s 48.
I was so angry and hurt by his actions – and his denial – that I wrote for advice.
All the trust had gone, and I couldn’t see a way forward. But I didn’t want to end an 18-year marriage.
You were so helpful, making me ask myself difficult questions about my feelings for my husband and our marriage.
You suggested relationship counselling – both alone and together – and gave me some of your support packs, like Looking After Your Relationship.
Then you wrote back to see how I was and we had several conversations, in which you gave me more food for thought.
I realised we hadn’t been communicating properly about our stresses, instead retreating into our own shells.
My husband has now agreed to see a counsellor together, and we’re working on our marriage.
Thank you, Deidre, for giving me so much comfort and advice.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I hope with counselling you can find a way to forgive him and repair your marriage.
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