The Election As a Movie

If the film ecosystem wasn’t near-death in the 2020s in the United States, there would surely be a movie rushed to theaters about the presidential election, however directly or indirectly. There was one! And it was pretty good: Ali Abassi’s The Apprentice came and went, victim of the same fatigue that felled Oliver Stone’s W., his earlier Nixon, and Robert Altman’s 1976 Buffalo Bill and the Indians, or Sitting Bull’s History Lesson. The public and the audience see the ad on TV or in the paper or on their phone and immediately feel sick, insulted, groaning in disgust that anyone would ever think they’d want to see a movie about Donald Trump, George W. Bush, or Richard Nixon. Adam McKay’s Vice barely made its budget back in 2018, but that was still $76 million against $60 million; the following year’s Bombshell, on the downfall of Roger Ailes, made $64 million against $32 million.

This was only five years ago. The only reason this “can’t happen again” is because Hollywood is controlled by tech companies who’d largely rather have their customer base—most of the globe—at home so they can “multi-task” i.e. buy more stuff while they watch oh, I don’t know, Doug Liman’s remake of Road House, the third iteration of that movie; on top of that, two of todays’ biggest “studios,” Netflix and Apple, refuse to distribute their movies to theaters; Netflix just says, “that isn’t our business model.” Fuck them.

Without these people in charge of Hollywood, we could’ve had a roaring Oliver Stone—or better yet, someone younger than Oliver Stone—movie about this year’s presidential election cycle. Abassi’s Trump film was very good, but it only covered the 1970s and 1980s; ours would start on June 27, 2024, right before the first and final debate between Joe Biden and Donald Trump. You could show some of the debate, or you could cut right as they go on stage; I think you have to stick with the debate for at least five minutes to establish Biden as a character, who has remained a hair in the butter of the Kamala Harris campaign.

None of the candidates can be the main character: invent a few like 2006’s Bobby and allow them to be our eyes onto what we know already happened (or didn’t). The first assassination attempt on Trump must come in the middle of the movie, and can’t be underplayed: those angles, especially the head-on wide shots of the news cameras and the low-angle photograph of the raised fist must be duplicated alongside other compositions. Our protagonist could be a photographer (a better Civil War!), or a journalist, or a lobbyist, or an aid to either campaign. I don’t think you could have a James Carville and Mary Matalin set of characters—that kind of romance would be impossible today between a Democrat and a Republican, at least two who are working for opposing campaigns.

If the movie were made today, Sebastian Stan could still play him—there isn’t that much of a difference in how Trump looks like today versus the 1980s because there was so much spray tan and hair wizardry to begin with. He’d need some bulk and prosthetics, but he nailed that performance and was settling into Trump’s current cadences toward the end of The Apprentice. The part could also be played by Dennis Quaid, who showed this year he could successfully take on both Ronald Reagan and Harvey Weinstein—his performance in this movie would be where Reagan and The Substance meet.

Biden dropping out on July 21—Jesus Christ, he really stayed in almost a month after that debate? See, this is why we need movies to remind us how fucked up everything is. Anyway, Biden dropping out is one scene after the Butler, PA set piece, and both VP candidates are barely featured, but they’re played by Richard Kind (Tim Walz) and Chris Pratt (J.D. Vance). Maya Rudolph could reprise her role as Kamala Harris, or the movie could go with Zendaya in a rare screwball comic turn. And for what it’s worth, if Al Pacino can play Jimmy Hoffa, Regina Hall can play Harris. Hire her, obviously.

Besides the drama of our reality, the movie can mine the irony of the Democratic Party sabotaging themselves again and again and again, whether it’s all of the rules they imposed on the June 27 debate which helped Trump and made Biden look awful, Biden’s subsequent interruptions into Harris’ campaign, and the pandering, cynical, insincere, prudish, priggish, authoritarian, mind fuck of a political correctness program that the media and the Democratic Party have perpetuated for the last 10 years. Israel and Palestine flaring up once again, while not the fault of the Democrats, inadvertently shattered the illusions of the new political correctness: in the eyes of many Democrats and even more progressives, there was no longer any such thing as “the lesser of two evils.”

Neither convention matters. Trump’s rally at Madison Square Garden must be featured, but only briefly and only because of past MSG rallies for successful presidential campaigns; we could rewrite history and have Trump tell the audience that Manhattan has made him “the comeback kid.” Joe Rogan, Bret Baier, Jake Tapper, and Dana Bash are all characters, but I’m not sure we need any of the other cable news people. Maybe the Morning Joe crew? A lot of this depends on our protagonist’s job and their exposure to these media figures, whether firsthand or indirectly; it’s worth considering cameos for the anchors and weighing their cost against an insured use in the film. Maybe some of the people involved would like to play themselves, as they do in superhero movies. Somehow I doubt it.

We won’t know the ending to our movie until Tuesday, or Wednesday, or January 2025, but it’s dying to be made. Begging. Is anyone else taking notes

—Follow Nicky Otis Smith on Twitter and Instagram: @nickyotissmith