Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.
Can’t decide but still want to be part of the movement? Don’t want to have an opinion? No problem! Introducing Neutral Link’s brand new product line:
This bumper sticker!
Aumper sticker that reads “HONK IF YOU LIKE CAPITALISM OR COMMUNISM OR NEITHER.” (Graphic: DA-HEE KIM/The Stanford Daily)
This Trump / Harris hat!
A double-brimmed Trump / Harris hat. (Graphic: DA-HEE KIM/The Stanford Daily)
This shirt!
A shirt with the slogan: “Love Not/Or Hate.” (Graphic: DA-HEE KIM/The Stanford Daily)
Also this shirt!
A reversible t-shirt with “Life” on one side and “Choice” on the other. (Graphic: DA-HEE KIM/The Stanford Daily)
These cut-out stickers that feature different messages!
Translucent stickers that feature different messages. One side says “EAT GARBAGE, KAMALA,” another says “EAT GARBAGE, TRUMP” and a third reads “I’M NOT AN INDEPENDENT.” (Graphic: DA-HEE KIM/The Stanford Daily)
A roll of “Good Mouth Tape” (then you CAN’T pitch in!)
A roll of “Good Mouth Tape.” (Graphic: DA-HEE KIM/The Stanford Daily)
This sticker!
A sticker that says “It’s not that I don’t believe in climate change; I just don’t believe in ANYTHING!” (Graphic: DA-HEE KIM/The Stanford Daily)
Yet another shirt!
A shirt that says “ALL News is Fake News.” (Graphic: DA-HEE KIM/The Stanford Daily)
And one more shirt, just because!
A shirt that has empty checkboxes next to “Democrat” and “Republican,” but a big check mark next to “whatever.” (Graphic: DA-HEE KIM/The Stanford Daily)
Buy our products to make no difference in politics, today!
This new FPS is so good, it's almost unfair that it's free: A '1v1 me bro' simulator with 70 maps and no microtransactions that feels like the sickest Counter-Strike: Source mod of 2007
Руководство СЛД «Брянск-Льговский» компании «ЛокоТех-Сервис» наградило лучших практикантов из студенческого отряда БГТУ
Собянин наградил выдающихся москвичей за вклад в развитие города и страны
«Почему ты такая низкая?» Арина Соболенко пошутила над известной теннисисткой. Видео