Abbott Elementary Recap: Headass Halloween
Though we were robbed of a Halloween episode last year, Abbott Elementary makes up for lost time with tonight’s spooktacular installment that holds its own against its now iconic predecessor from season two. While it’s hard to compete with the heavily plot-driven Thanos-themed episode of the second season, the writing and comedic delivery of tonight’s episode makes it a worthy opponent. Let’s jump right in with the most important element: costumes. Unsurprisingly, Mr. Johnson won my personal contest again (his season two Lil Uzi still lives rent-free in my head) as Emo Jimmy Butler — moments like this show just how good Quinta and the writers of Abbott are at tickling the minds of the chronically online. There’s also representation for the consciously offline folks: Jacob, who has “taken a step back from Elon Musk’s internet,” dresses up as Pat Sajak, not knowing about his opposing politics but committing to the bit because he already purchased the outfit.
Other costumes include Melissa as her guinea pig, Sweet Cheeks, Ms. Inez as The Cat in the Hat, Barbara as a regular cat (with pearls, of course), and Ava as a remarkably fitting Blade. Janine and Gregory debut their first-ever couple look with … the mosquito trapped in amber and Mr. DNA from Jurassic Park? Do I think this idea is absurdly adorable? Of course. Would I have recognized their concept if Film Twitter hadn’t chuckled at it after the preview from last week? Absolutely not. But no one else in the episode immediately understands it either (Jacob initially thinks Gregory is “sexy gumballs,” and Janine is “that thing on top of an exterminator truck”), so I’m in good company. Janine and Gregory, however, pat themselves on the back for their cleverness, writing off those who don’t understand by saying the concept is too “high-brow.” They think their costume is so unique that there’s no doubt they’ll win both the school costume contest and the one after-hours at Rubenstein’s.
Janine and Gregory burst into the teacher’s lounge, excited for their coworkers to bask in the sheer creativity of their costumes, only to be met by confusion and mockery. At first, they think it’s an implementation problem, swapping positions with each other as if making sense of an “I’m with Stupid” t-shirt. But the teasing continues, and Ava goes as far as calling them a “headass couple doing headass things” while updating the Urban Dictionary page for headass to a picture of them in their costume (also, thank you, Jacob, for white-splaining the word headass). Gregory and Janine scoff at such a descriptor as their coworkers point and laugh, offended that what they believed to be the epitome of creative genius comes off as quirky goofiness. The roasting doesn’t phase them too much — and neither does being asked by a student why they didn’t just dress as dinosaurs, which they hilariously brush off because his drawings are “ass,” and he can’t even color between the lines, so “what does he know about art and culture.”
But before Janine and Gregory put their costume to the test, Barbara must face the sting of giving up her favorite Halloween tradition of bobbing for apples after parents complain that it’s unsanitary. Admittedly, while the ensuing scenario was silly as always, the whole “Barbara needs to learn how to embrace change” storyline is becoming a tad overdone, or at least not utilized to the fullest. We saw a similar iteration in season one when she found out the tuatara at the zoo retired, in season two when she had to accept a new mom with different values, and in season three when she had to adjust to Ms. Inez’s new library rules. Being decidedly old-school and Abbott Elementary’s resident HBIC is definitely engrained in Barbara’s character, but it would be nice to see it implemented in more unique ways. But that’s the critic in me talking — even if we’ve seen Barbara encounter this lesson time and time again, Sheryl Lee Ralph embodies the character so well, and it’s so well written, I still giggle every time. Pushing characters into zany situations because of their stubborn traits is a sitcom tradition. I mean, how many times did Michael Scott’s incompetence lead to some of the best episodes of The Office?
Anyway, Barbara tries to find a way to entertain the kids without bobbing for apples and enlists Ms. Inez’s character voices for a spooky storytime. The kids are nonplussed, with the novelty of silly voices wearing off after a few stories. Barbara bites the bullet and tries to get the kids to bob for apples, but they remind her that their parents told them they weren’t allowed, to which she tells them not to tell anyone as Halloween is “a day for deceit.” Since the initial excuse did not deter Barbara, the students have to admit that they don’t even like bobbing for apples. Let’s be real: there’s nothing fun about going through water torture to grab a bottom-tier fruit with your mouth. And, to the delightfully funny point the students made, these poor kids just had to deal with a ringworm outbreak, so I don’t think they’re trying to dunk their heads in dirty water. Barbara’s appalled at the lack of enthusiasm and begins bobbing for apples herself, with the sight of her running cat makeup and wet hair terrifying the students as she repeatedly submerges her head.
Next up in the festivities, Abbott holds its annual costume contest, and Janine and Gregory are still confident that theirs is the best. They compete against students dressed as a scarecrow and an ear of corn, but the real show-stopper is Melissa. She pops in little rodent teeth for the full effect and then brings out the other half of her couple’s costume: Sweet Cheeks dressed up as Ms. Schemmenti, complete with a miniature leather jacket and red wig. The crowd eats it up (Gregory and Janine say it’s derivative), and Melissa wins the contest unanimously. Jacob goes next under the category “Unpopular Teachers Who Insisted on Participating Anyway,” and after none of the students recognize who Pat Sajak is, Barbara becomes triggered, clearly projecting her sadness about tossing old traditions to the wayside onto this situation. Jacob explaining that the younger generation might not know Sajak as he doesn’t host the show anymore makes matters worse … especially since Barbara wasn’t aware that he retired. She starts to spiral, forcing the students to cheer for Jacob or else Halloween is canceled, which causes the entire auditorium to erupt in applause.
The crew trades in their daytime G-rated Halloween for a more adult one at Rubenstein’s once school lets out. Barbara vents to Melissa about how badly the apple-bobbing rejection hurt her, and Melissa encourages Barbara to start a new tradition, so they go bobbing for shots at the bar. Defeated from losing the school competition, Janine and Gregory change into a basic peanut butter and jelly couple’s costume, still hoping to win. Janine states that the goal is for people to look at them and instantly think of how well they go together. Clearly, their competitiveness to prove they have the best couple costume got in the way of how obviously the first costume reflected how perfect of a pair they were. It’s like me rejecting someone who would agree to dress up as a white refrigerator for Halloween while I go as Nene Leakes; regardless of who does or doesn’t understand the concept, what matters is there’s at least one person in the world who understands and celebrates me. They learn this lesson when they survey the crowd and see a couple dressed as Ash Ketchum and Wednesday Addams to create Ash Wednesday, inspiring them to return to their old outfits. No one at the bar is impressed either (they get scattered applause for their effort), but they go home and watch Jurassic Park together. Now, let me go find my perfect match; I have a Housewives-themed costume idea for next year.
Teacher’s Notes
• Alright, here is my full ranking of the top five Abbott Elementary Halloween costumes: Emo Jimmy Butler, Sweet Cheeks, Blade, “The Goat,”/Muhammad Ali, Toilet
• Honorable mention: the only white kid in the school dressed up as Black Panther and the little girl who tried to get away with an Ice Spice costume.
• Finally, the best lines of the episode:
Barbara: “This year, Abbott is keeping it classy because all of the treats are up to me! The number one trick.”
Concerned parent telling Barbara not to pass out cupcakes: “Are you handing those out to the kids? Because you can’t do that. And we all know why … they could have razor blades in them! Or worse, nuts!”
Melissa: “You prank your cousin one time by putting razor blades in a cookie, and all of a sudden, it starts a nationwide hoax.”
Gregory, while dressed as jelly: “I’m not even a protein; I’m basically just candy.”
Mr. Johnson, setting the scene for his “ghost story”: “Vietnam. 1971. I was on vacation…”