The Red Queen smiled then dropped £40BN tax BOMB on Brits – businesses clobbered, fag price up & even your HOLIDAYS hit

Rachel Reeves may have campaigned as the ‘iron chancellor’ and heir to Margaret Thatcher. 

But be in no doubt – she is governing as Labour’s Red Queen.

Rising to her feet to deliver her first ever Budget, Rachel allowed herself a brief smile – before dropping a £40 billion tax bomb on Britain.

Each line of her Budget plunged a knife into the Tories and the economic consensus of the past generation. 

Dressed in a sharp navy suit, purple pussy bow shirt and matching newly painted nails, she may have looked demure – but her Tory trash talk would make make a champion fighter blush.

They had left a “£22 billion blackhole” and “covered it up” she thundered.

The finances are a mess. Public services run down. Brits betrayed.

This sparked pandemonium on the Tory benches.

An outraged Rishi Sunak threw up his arms and cried out in despair. Wide-eyed Jeremy Hunt blinked slowly and shook his head.

Burly shadow Home Secretary James Cleverly jabbed his finger and furiously argued with a Labour MP sitting opposite him.

Was he suggesting they take this row outside? Surely it’s too soon for another Mike Amesbury style dust-up.

Ignoring the squabbling boys Rachel carried on reading her Budget – and raising taxes.

Booze and fag taxes up.

Capital gains and inheritance tax up.

Taxes on getting planes on holiday up.

But the biggest hike of all was saved for businesses, who were clobbered with an eye-popping £25bn hike in employer National Insurance Contributions. 

Sir Keir Starmer looked uncomfortable at this one. The PM played with his fingers and stared intently at his shoes. His shirt collar suddenly felt a little tight. Was it getting hot in here?

But Labour’s Red Queen was warming to her theme.

Class war was order of the day, and Rachel sounded like she was really enjoying herself when she confirmed private schools would be whacked by 20 per cent VAT rates.

That got them going on Labour’s backbenches. They roared with delight and waved their order papers in the air.

The Tories looked ashen faced. A few gulped deeply as they did the mental maths in their heads. Does that mean I’ll have to take my youngest out of their school, some wondered.

Plenty of privately educated Labour MPs stayed schtum. Now was not the time to reminisce about how much they enjoyed their Latin lessons.

But Rachel had saved two big Budget bunny rabbits.

Fuel duty will be frozen – thanks to The Sun’s Keep It Down campaign. 

And Brits will not have to pay more in income tax (well beyond the massive amounts we already pay) as she did not extend the threshold freeze beyond 2028.

Jaws dropped at that one. 

Ending with a flurry, Rachel declared she had “protected working people” before grinning and taking to her seat.

Keir smiled and whispered well done. Labour MPs dutifully cheered. Was that a red flag being unfurled on the backbenches?

But a furious Rishi leapt to his feet and accused Labour of “breaking promises” and “breaching the bond of trust” voters had placed in them.

Fiscal rules have been fiddled. Taxes hiked. Poor pensioners left to freeze, he fumed.

Jabbing his finger with the white hot fury of a former Chancellor who had been accused of getting his long division sums wrong, he accused Labour of damaging UK plc and talking Britain down. 

Shouting now, his throat is getting horse. Rishi knocks back bottled water like he is downing whisky shots in a bar brawl.

A deafening din erupts behind him as Tory MPs row in behind their leader.

Could it be that Rishi had finally won over his warring MPs?

Too late now. This Budget is Rishi’s swan song his last turn on the frontbench. He hands over to a new party leader in three days time.

And the Red Queen is feeling pretty safe on her throne.