What to do about friends and politics?

It is 3:43 a.m. After spending endless hours completing the Math pset that is due in five hours, I am exhausted and drained. The sleep deficit finally starts to hit. I need to go to bed. I MUST. However, the most thrilling conversation unravels among my friends. I can’t go to bed — not yet. I suddenly feel energized, ready to engage in an intense political debate. They are mid-conversation, but I have to pitch in. 

“So, you see…”

And so it begins. Someone monologues their thoughts and opinions on a certain topic. It then branches into several different topics as we tackle them one at a time. They often overlap, and we confuse ourselves — it is 3 a.m., after all. I have seen the sunrise too many times for someone who is not a morning person. 

From understanding the nuances of American politics to engaging in international politics, I have had the opportunity to engage in diverse political discussions with my diverse group of friends. I think this is the best type of atmosphere you get at a university like Stanford, where people from all walks of life allow you — and even encourage you — to put forth your interesting perspectives. I have definitely noticed that political conversations and the way they are carried differ a lot compared to back home in India. Since there are only two political parties, the conversations here are more related to the political parties, and the leaders in those parties — especially for me since I don’t know much about or don’t engage much in local politics. Back home, though, the conversation is usually about the leading party and the opposition. I feel like, for me, it is easier to dive into local politics. 

Not only have I learned how American politics works as an international student, I also have had long conversations with my friends where I explained Indian politics and how it works. Especially this year, with so many elections across the world, it was fun to talk about how elections worked in India, Mexico, United Kingdom, Venezuela and several other countries. Having peers from these countries to talk about their political perspective on their country’s elections also is rather fun because you are not only exposed to different political views, but the international diaspora on campus also invites you to understand a country or culture from a more realistic perspective.   

Having such meaningful conversations where you not only feel heard and seen, but also see that the people you are talking to are listening and are even more curious than you’d expected makes it all worthy (especially when it is about missing a few hours of sleep!). 

However, there have been instances where such conversations have taken a more polarizing and disunited route. It is mostly because there have been several disagreements on sensitive issues, where the majority of the people involved in such political debates do not agree with each other, and find it hard to consider someone else’s perspective. This is what is expected, naturally. There have been scoffs, raised eyebrows and straight-up disagreements, causing tension. 

Disagreeing with your friends politically can be challenging, especially if politics is a topic of conversation that the group engages in on a regular basis. It usually always comes down to trust, which I think that is really crucial for conversations like this. One needs to trust that the other side will listen actively. One needs to be able to trust that their opinions and political takes will be kept confidential. One needs to know that they can be trusted as well. Only then can conversations with such heavy and sensitive material can be discussed, especially on a campus like Stanford. 

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