‘I wasn’t coping & cried every day’ says Millie Mackintosh as she reveals stress as working mum & experiencing breakdown
ON the surface, Millie Mackintosh has the perfect life, but the former Made In Chelsea star was teetering on the brink of a breakdown at the start of this year.
The reality TV personality-turned-fashion designer, who has two young daughters, hit rock bottom as the stress of being a working mum took its toll.
“It felt like a bit of a breakdown moment where I just wasn’t coping,” the 35-year-old says.
“I was really over-tired.
“I was taking on a lot.
“I had a lot of stress, I wasn’t managing the stress very well and my body was giving me these signs that, ‘hey, you need to slow down’.”
In July, Millie bravely admitted she was back on anti-anxiety medication after she was left in “daily tears and feeling unsafe in my own body”.
And now she has revealed just how low she sank, as she struggled to cope with the demands of parenting and a busy career.
She says: “I was having quite a lot of panic attacks and my nervous system was actually in crisis.
“I had to take a bit of time off.”
Millie, who has daughters Sienna, four, and Aurelia, two, with husband Hugo Taylor, 38, is not alone.
Signs of burnout
According to research, 81 per cent of British women have experienced parental burnout after having children and 74 per cent of working mums say they bear the emotional weight of family life, compared to just 48 per cent of dads.
In addition to her frequent podcast appearances, Millie has been writing a book, Bad Drunk, about her “sober curious” journey, while also renovating her family’s huge London home.
But when she reached breaking point at the start of the year, she realised things had to change.
“I didn’t listen to the signs that my body kept telling me,” she says.
“Until the point of . . . snap. Take a break.
“Since then, I’ve been trying to embrace things.
“There’s more trying to be OK with my diary not being completely full every single day.”
And Millie says she is more aware than ever of the warning signs of burnout.
“I can notice if it’s creeping back in again,” she says.
“Feelings in my body, like tension, physical pain . . . I definitely have signals from my body and even my anxiety levels.
“I’m like, ‘OK, what am I taking on? What am I saying yes to?’
“I’m quite a sensitive person, but I’m trying to protect my energy more.
“I think a lot of mums experience burnout and don’t even realise.”
Two years ago, the star ditched booze after years of binge drinking.
The habit had escalated during her days on Made In Chelsea, the E4 show that also launched the careers of Millie’s husband and Spencer Matthews.
As Millie became one of the UK’s premiere party girls off the back of the show, she didn’t realise drinking was a trigger for her anxiety.
She married rapper Professor Green — real name Stephen Manderson — in 2013.
But in 2016 the pair divorced and Millie went back to her Chelsea ex-boyfriend, Hugo, with whom she has found lasting happiness.
She and the former I’m A Celebrity 2012 campmate married in 2018 before welcoming baby Sienna during lockdown in May 2020.
You do have to keep your self care a priority, because if you’ve got nothing in the tank and you’re running on empty, you will get to the point where you’re going to break
Millie
But it was a “breakthrough in therapy” in October 2022 that made Millie decide to give up alcohol and she has now joined the quarter of adult Brits who are teetotal.
“I didn’t want to admit it, but it’s a huge trigger for my anxiety,” she explained at the time.
“It has an instant negative effect on my mental health.”
Now, Millie is determined to look after herself physically and mentally.
Speaking on the CEO Mum podcast, she says: “Self care isn’t selfish.
“When you’re on a plane, they say, ‘Fit your own oxygen mask first, before anyone else’s.’
“You do have to keep your self care a priority, because if you’ve got nothing in the tank and you’re running on empty, you will get to the point where you’re going to break and you can’t be there for [your family] at all.”
But spending time looking after number one has its own drawbacks.
She says: “I can’t tell you not to feel ‘mum guilt’, because it’s still something that I feel every day.
“I remind myself that’s OK.
“It’s part of the motherhood journey.
“Just don’t let the guilt stop you from doing things.
“And also, let go of caring about what people think.
“The mum police . . . just stop.
“We have enough stress on our shoulders.”
One way Millie encourages other mums to ease their load is to embrace the frozen food aisle.
In fact, she regularly dishes up chicken nuggets and fish fingers for her kids as they’re so handy.
Millie, whose great-grandfather launched Quality Street chocolates, says: “Don’t feel like you’ve always got to give kids a freshly prepared meal.
“Give yourself a break.
Since becoming a mother, I really want to get the most out of work. Your time is your most valuable thing
Millie
“My kids have stuff out the freezer and maybe even once a day, whatever it is, fish fingers, chicken nuggets.
“My kids eat quite a lot of frozen food.
“I don’t feel bad about it at all.
“Give yourself a break because it’s exhausting.”
As a self-employed woman, Millie went back to work just three months after Sienna’s birth and, while it was difficult, she believes it was the best thing for her.
She gets up at the crack of dawn to get a head start on emails and tasks.
She says: “Since becoming a mother, I really want to get the most out of work.
“Your time is your most valuable thing.
“I get up at 5am so I can feel I can start my day early enough to get everything I need to do, done.”
However, Millie admits she at first got the “balance wrong” when it came to juggling work with kids.
“It weighed on me quite a lot,” she says.
“So I was actually doing some work around this in therapy, and I figured out that my weeks weren’t structured in a way that was beneficial for me and my mental health.
“I had to change the balance.
“And I now have blocked out time in my diary every week and the kids know that I won’t be working in that time.
‘Huge meltdown’
“I try to keep that the same every week and then the kids know that’s my time with them.
“And we have things that we do, like a ballet class or getting a pizza or something.
“That’s really helping now and I really look forward to that time.
“I start my week with the kids and I end my week with the kids.”
But, as most mums know, even quality time with children can dissolve into chaos.
Millie recalls a recent outing to a local pottery cafe that ended in tears.
She explains: “Sienna had a huge meltdown because I wouldn’t buy her a toy.
“And I was like, ‘Oh my God. I’ve just done this really nice experience with you and you’re just being so difficult because I won’t buy you a toy you want.’
“Sometimes I plan to do something nice with my children and it’s an absolute s**t show.”