What is the ‘To Be Loved Is To Be Changed’ trend on TikTok?

To Be Loved Is To Be Changed is a meme and TikTok trend in which a user fondly showcases a subject (commonly house pets, toys, or stuffed animals) with the catchphrase, communicating the profound, life-changing, and wholesome nature of loving something long-term.

What is the meaning of 'To Be Loved Is To Be Changed?'

The meaning of the catchphrase 'To Be Loved Is To Be Changed' is simple: love is truly profound and absolutely life-changing; when you love someone or something deeply over a period of time, it transforms the subject of your love (and by extension, the lover themselves).

Origin and spread

The catchphrase 'To Be Loved Is To Be Changed' first appeared on Feb. 16th, 2023 as a comment by X user @tacticalcoqette on a post by @SteviaPlath. The post said "too much love," and showed a before-and-after comparison photo of a stuffed lamb—first new, and then worn down over years of use. The catchphrase spread widely on X and other platforms, as other users began applying it as a catchphrase to various images and wholesome memes.

@iamfluffle to be loved is to be changed #humansbeinghumans #stuffedanimals #evergreen ♬ Evergreen - Richy Mitch & The Coal Miners

Throughout 2023, wholesome memes continued to gain traction, as indicated by many of @tacticalcoqette's other X posts, reiterating the tone and sentiment of her original 'To Be Loved Is To Be Changed' comment.

In early October 2023, the trend became very popular with pet owners and the pet adoption community on TikTok, inspiring them to share media of their adopted pets right after they were adopted (these usually show the animals in a rough state; taken from an unstable or abusive situation) and how—after time, and care— they are now thriving.

@iamterrataylor This angel on Earth was abandoned back in July. Look how far she has come. #fyp #foryourpage #animalwelfare #dogsoftiktok #dogtok #tobelovedistobechanged #fypシ #foryou #dogrescue #vetmed ♬ To be loved is to be changed - BANzFREAK

@hollywoodsgemi 4 weeks off the street today #kittensoftiktok #cat #rescue #catsoftiktok #losangeles #momsoftiktok #family #tobeloved #tobelovedistobechanged #kitty #newbaby #tabbycatsoftiktok ♬ original sound - Hollywood’s Gemi

Meme basics:

• Meme creator: @tacticalcoqette
• Meme type: wholesome
• First appearance: Feb. 16th, 2023
• Origin source: X
• Used to convey: authenticity, nostalgia, the beauty of love
• Peak popularity: Oct. 9th 2023

Turns out, love actually does change you—and your brain

This catchphrase is more accurate than it appears: many scientific studies cite that love—or more specifically, the affection and attachment alluded to in this meme—is proven to strengthen trust, confidence, problem-solving and opportunism. According to a study published by the European Journal of Investigation in Health, Psychology and Education, "in adult attachment styles, close relationships can be viewed as a protective factor for long-term emotional stability and psychological well-being."

Additionally, the love and attachment for an object or pet is particularly powerful. In an article by the Harvard Gazette, according to Elizabeth Frates, Assistant Clinical Professor at Harvard Medical School, and Megan Mueller, an Associate Professor at Tufts University, these relationships "ease loneliness and boost oxytocin—the love hormone."

"They get us moving—even when we don’t want to—and anchor us in the present. They are conversation-starters, drawing people together and providing that initial spark of social connection."

@womp.womp8197 i love my childhood teddy bear w my whole heart #fyp #fypシ #xyzbca #viral #foryou #tobelovedistobechanged #tobeloved ♬ Think Of Me Once In A While, Take Care - Take Care

Cultural context

The trend of utilizing this catchphrase is part of an emerging genre of wholesome memes, a reaction to irony, dark humor, and brainrot found in internet communities. Wholesome memes are meant to be unironically and authentically appreciated, crafted to support relationships, contemplate love, and celebrate all that is beautiful and wholesome about life.

@agonyin4k to be loved is to be changed #tobelovedistobechanged #childhoodstuffedanimal #love #plushie #childhoodtoys ♬ To be loved Is to be changed - gosiahballer

More wholesome memes:

• What is the Hopecore TikTok trend? The wholesomeness and the controversy, explained
• The ‘let me do it for you’ meme, born from heartbreak
• Stop Fighting Dog meme: the origins and popularity of the T-Pose Puppy
• What is the Symphony Dolphin meme, and what’s Zara Larsson got to do with it?

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