My girlfriend told me she wants to be a trad wife but I don’t find lazy house mistresses’ attractive
A TIKTOK video about trad wives has left a man considering the future of his relationship with his girlfriend of two years.
He was horrified when she expressed a desire to stay home and have him cover her expenses despite not having kids to look after.
The man said he had just finished his undergraduate and his girlfriend was starting her studies when they first met.
He would pay for everything because she didn’t have an income and drove them everywhere since she didn’t have a car.
He would also buy her gifts as he enjoyed bringing a smile to her face.
“A few weeks ago she finally got a car due to her uncle and parents,” he said, writing on Reddit.
“I was excited and mentioned how great it would be for her to start driving to my place instead of me going back and forth wasting gas.
“But she then mentioned ‘No’ that I would still be doing all the driving because she doesn’t want to ‘waste miles.’
“I told her I felt that was inconsiderate and she practically told me I would be fine because I make good income to replace my own car.
“This honestly REALLY turned me off but I brushed it off and have since stopped bringing it up.”
The man said a discussion about finances arose again when his girlfriend sent him a video of a trad wife on TikTok.
He told her it was an “unrealistic” lifestyle for most people to achieve and was angered when she responded arguing “Women are just marrying the wrong men.”
“She then mentioned that if I’m not willing to PAY ALL OF HER BILLS AND ALLOW HER TO NOT WORK (even without kids) then she is ‘scared’ for our future,” he said.
“Now I have always been an advocate for SAHPs [stay-at-home parents].
“I think being a homemaker is a beautiful task…. but I don’t think a lazy house mistress is attractive in the slightest.”
The man said his girlfriend described him as “one of those 50/50 people” and argued women shouldn’t pay for anything.
The conversation left him feeling hurt, unloved, and used “as a vessel for a rich trophy wife lifestyle instead of someone she truly wants to see happy and succeed.”
What is a trad wife?
A trad wife (short for traditional wife) is a woman who chooses to take on an ultra traditional role in marriage, meaning she makes dinner and looks pretty whilst her husband goes to work.
The trend takes inspiration from the idea of a 1950s housewife.
Many ‘trad wives’ choose to dress in the style of clothing popular in this period (think floral dresses and frumpy cardigans).
Additionally, the values considered important to trad wives are similar to strict Christian values.
Trad wives believed they were not forced into this way of life, and that it was their purpose to be homemakers.
The trend, which has garnered attention on social media platforms such as TikTok and Instagram, glamorises a time gone by with little acknowledgement of the economic challenges facing families and mothers today.
He works for his family’s business and part-time in the field in which he studied.
However, his girlfriend’s mother has encouraged her to find someone wealthier and turned her into the “female version of Andrew Tate.”
The man said he apologised to his girlfriend about the argument but they haven’t had a proper conversation since.
“I want a PARTNER, not a child to take care of,” he said.
“I don’t want a partner that views relationships as some superficial class exchange.”
Reddit users reassured the man that he wasn’t being unreasonable and advised him to break up with his girlfriend.
One person described her as a “golddigger,” while another warned that he should end the relationship before she “traps” him with a baby.
A third said his girlfriend wants to be a “sugar baby” rather than a trad wife but doesn’t bring much to the table in return.
“Set her free to find richer and better,” another commented.
“Consider your 2-year investment as school fees to teach you how to choose a better partner in the future, to see the red flags early so you don’t continue relationships with unsuitable partners and break it off early.”