I fear I’ve ruined things and missed my chance with my work crush
DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my work crush started showing interest in me, I couldn’t believe my luck, but now I fear I’ve missed my chance because I couldn’t find the nerve to ask her out.
I’m a 39-year-old man, and since I started this job five years ago, I’ve always had a soft spot for my co-worker. She’s 34.
Until a couple of months ago, she was in a long-term relationship. So when I heard the news that they’d broken up, I was over the moon.
The last thing I wanted to do was overstep a boundary, especially when she was so fresh out of a relationship.
But then I started to notice the way she was gazing at me from across the office, and it was hard to ignore the new tension that was forming between us.
Suddenly she was bringing me coffee in the morning and flirting with me at lunch. I could tell she was trying to make an effort with me, but I was so afraid of rejection that I put off making a move.
Now, her whole behaviour around me has changed, and I can tell that she feels rejected.
While she would once smile at me from across the room, she struggles to even look in my direction anymore. Even when I’ve tried to talk to her, she’s given me the cold shoulder.
What if I’ve ruined my only chance?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: The only way to know for certain is if you take the plunge and tell her how you feel.
From what you’ve said, it’s clear she’s shown some interest in you and may have backed off because she felt her feelings weren’t reciprocated.
It’s normal to fear rejection, but if you don’t ask her, you may be left always wondering “what if.”.
You could tell her you have feelings for her, but your worries got in the way.
If it does turn out a relationship is not what she wants, you can still remain friends.
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